Glee 100
by lightblue-Nymphadora
Summary: 100 unrelated 200 word drabbles. The Glee half of my story 200. Mostly Faberry; Pezberry; Fierce; Quinntana. Some Finchel; Asian Fusion; etc. Something for everyone. Most chapters are rated T or less. Will warn of M-rated chapters.
1. Attic

**200 (Brittana)  
**

"Britt! Can you bring me a flashlight? I'm going up into the attic!"

"What if there are bats?" Brittany said, coming into the hallway.

"There won't be," Santana said. _God, I hope there won't be_.

"So long as I don't have to take you to the ER again. Mercedes is starting to think we're accident prone."

Santana laughed. "I'll be careful."

"I'm going to finish unpacking the kitchen."

Santana pulled the stairs down and climbed up. Unable to help herself, she shone the light up at the rafters. Luckily, there was nothing there except some cobwebs. Breathing a sigh of relief, she climbed further into the attic. "Holy shit!"

"Are there bats?"

"No! Come look."

Brittany came up the stairs a second later. "Wow," she said.

There was a TV, with two video game consoles and a DVD player. There were also gaming chairs and and vending machine. It was empty, but well maintained.

"There's a note on the TV."

Santana picked it up and read, "All of this was from back when I had my first house. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did."

"Come on, let's finish unpacking."

Santana smiled and followed her back downstairs.


	2. Misfire

**200- Misfire**

Finn sat rigidly by his friend's bedside. He hadn't moved in the past two hours.

"Hudson."

"Sir, yes sir!"

"At ease, son." The staff sergeant stood next to him and looked at the sleeping soldier. "The doctor tell you anything?"

"He probably won't walk again."

The older man squeezed Finn's shoulder. "You did good out there today, Hudson."

"Not good enough, sir."

"These things happen, Hudson," the man said. "Accidents happen."

"Where's Conrad?"

"Confined to his room."

"It was an accident."

"I'm sure it was, but I have a procedure to follow. Any time there's a misfire that results in an injury we have to look into it."

Finn stared at his fellow recruit and willed himself not to cry.

"It's the real thing, son. And there's no shame in feeling it."

"He won't walk again."

"Come on."

"Where are we going, sir?"

"My office. I understand you have a lady in New York?"

"Rachel, sir."

"Rachel…. Well, I'm sure Rachel would like to hear from you. Normally we don't let recruits do this, but under the circumstances…."

Finn nodded and, with one last glance at his friend, allowed himself to be led out of the hospital room.


	3. Chase

**200- Chase (Kurtofsky)  
**

This wasn't supposed to happen. Things were supposed to have changed since they went to McKinley. Dave close his eyes and prayed for what had to be the 80th time that night.

"Dave!" Kurt said, coming into the room. "Oh god…."

He stood and wrapped Kurt in a hug. "He called me…he was yelling for help. I couldn't get there in time."

"Our son's a fighter," Kurt whispered. "DJ's going to be alright."

They moved to stand next to the boy's bed. His curly black hair only made the paleness of his face more noticeable.

"David Karofsky?"

"Yes?" Dave said, turning to face the officer.

"We've caught the boys responsible. They confessed."

"Thank you," Kurt said, shaking the officer's hand.

"Don't mention it, Hummel. How's he doing?"

"Doctor says he should wake up, but it might take…a few days," Dave told him.

"We'll be praying for him."

"Did the boys say what happened?" Kurt asked.

"Saw him coming out of the Lima Bean alone. They chased him into the shopping center. Jumped him behind the music store. I have to get back. If there's anything you need…."

Dave and Kurt nodded, and moved to stand by their son.


	4. Confusion

**200- Confusion (implied Faberry)  
**

Will knew the dynamics of his group, and something was off. Way off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was different. They were moving better, more seamlessly. They weren't arguing when someone messed up, though he saw Finn throw a couple of annoyed look toward the girls. Still, everyone was getting along fine. And that's why Will was worried.

"Hey Tina, I think this part would work better if you moved in front of me, a bit," Rachel said. "Can we run that part again?"

"Wow, Rachel, actually putting someone else in front of you. That's new," Finn said.

Will saw a flash of pink hair as Quinn's head whipped around.

"Finn…." she said.

The boy put up his hands in surrender.

Quinn smiled at Rachel and gave her shoulder a squeeze before they ran the dance again. It worked just as Rachel had said.

"Alright, we gots this," Santana said. "Let's cut it short today."

Everyone agreed.

Since when did everyone agree?

Will watched in total confusion as the kids left. Last to go were Santana, Brittany, Quinn and Rachel. The four linked arms before leaving the room.

The world had gone completely mad.


	5. Accident

**200- Accident (Pezberry)  
**

Santana woke to the sound of sniffling and running water. The light was on in the hallway.

She crawled out of bed carefully so she didn't wake Rachel. "Cris?" she asked.

The boy jumped, tossing a wad of clothes and sheets into the laundry room hamper. "I—I had an accident," he mumbled, tears coming to his eyes. "I'm too old for this," he said.

"Don't cry, mijo, it's okay. Go hop in the shower and I'll change your sheets."

Rachel was already in his room. "Morning," she said, smiling. She Fabreezed the mattress, and started putting plain blue sheets on the bed. "It's happening more often."

"I know. Do you think anything's wrong?"

Rachel snorted. "We uprooted them from everything they knew in New York, transplanted them into Middle of Nowhere, USA, they have no friends yet, and school's about to start. I'm guessing he's stressed."

"You think we did the right thing? Moving them back?"

"Yes. It'll just be hard for a while."

"They'll be okay."

They listened as a quiet voice carried out from the bathroom.

"I'm singin' in the rain; just singin' in the rain…."

"That's definitely your child."

Rachel smiled. They'd be alright.


	6. Dismissal

**200- Dismissal (Quintana)  
**

Santana gave the punching bag a few more jabs before jogging over to grab her water bottle. She checked her watch and made her way upstairs to her office. She had clients coming in later, but she still had two hours. Her phone rang. "Hey Q-bear," she said, smiling. She heard sniffling on the other line, and then a sob. "Quinn? What's up, baby?"

"Can you please come get me?"

"I'm on my way. Talk to me though," she said, grabbing her keys and her gym bag. "What happened? Who do I need to kill?"

"The parents petitioned for my dismissal today."

Santana froze. She'd known Quinn had been having a rough time at school. Lima wasn't exactly the most accepting town, and having an openly gay teacher had rubbed a few people the wrong way. Still, she hadn't expected this. "I'm on my way," she repeated, starting her car.

Quinn was standing outside the elementary school when Santana pulled up. She got in without a word to the principal, who'd been trying to talk to her.

Santana sighed. "I hear New York schools are pretty open to gay teachers."

Quinn gave her a small smile and took her hand.


	7. Sunday Roast

**200- Sunday Roast (Pezberry)  
**

"Good morning, Santana!"

"Hey Rach," Santana said, barely raising her head from the pillow.

"Come on, we need to get ready if we're going to be on time."

"On time where?"

"Oh! Right, I hadn't informed you. Well, you may not know this, but my Daddy—Greg—"

"The blonde one?"

"Yes. He's British."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. His family moved over when he was sixteen, so he's lost his accent. But we do a Sunday roast every week. It's his one British tradition that we haven't been able to American out of him."

"A…roast? Like…one of those things on Comedy Central?"

"No, an actual roast. He's making roast pork with carrots and potatoes this week."

Santana's stomach rumbled. "Wait, are you actually going to eat meat then?"

"No. He makes extra veggies for me."

"Oh, right."

"Anyway, after learning of our newfound amorous arrangement, they made me promise to bring you over for one of the many Berry family traditions."

"You couldn't just say 'Santana, you're coming lunch with my dads,' could you?"

"You're so good at decoding Rachel!speak, it seems a shame to deprive you of practice."

"Right…I'm getting up now," Santana mumbled into her pillow.

"Santana! Get up!"


	8. Running

**200- Running (former Finchel)  
**

The train lurched to life, and began to move. Finn smiled at Rachel and ran with it, dodging people without taking his eyes from his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. When the train started to pick up speed, he stopped and waved goodbye.

He wanted to catch up with the train and go with Rachel. But he couldn't. He had to end it. If he hadn't, she would've. It may have taken a month—maybe two—but it would've happened. If him breaking her heart now meant she got to live her dreams, and that one day, maybe, she'd come back to him… it was a gamble he was willing to take.

A hand came to rest on his back.

"You did the right thing, Finn," Quinn said.

"Promise me something."

"What?"

"Look after her."

"I'm going to be in New Haven, Finn. I won't be there all the time."

"But you will be there," he said, turning to her. "She told me about the Metro North passes. Just promise me you'll be there if things get…to keep her from going crazy."

Quinn nodded. "Promise. Come on; let's get back to the others."

Finn watched the train disappear into the distance before following.


	9. Shield

**200- Shield (Samcedes; implied Pezberry and Fierce)**

Sam smiled down at Mercedes, tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" she asked. "It's not like you're the one who shot me."

"I promised to protect you. I said I would be your strength and shield—OW!" he yelped when she smacked him.

"Sam, there's no way you could've stopped this. Some psycho fan snuck in and had a gun. Even if you had been there, you would've been off stage and wouldn't have gotten to me in time."

"I'm glad you're okay," he said. "I was so scared."

"Come on, boyfriend…you know it's going to take more than a couple of bullets to keep me down." She took his hand and gave him a winning smile.

Santana came in looking frazzled at that moment. "I'm going all Lima Heights on the next mother fucker who tries to barge in here. How's our favorite chocolate princess doing?"

"Better, knowing that my wonderful manager is keeping the press away."

"Good. I'm going to call my wife, Quinn and Britt and tell them they can stop freaking out now."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Could my 'strength and shield' please talk the doctor into letting me have a Powerade?"

"I'm on it."


	10. Hidden

**200- Tree; Hidden; Harry/Hermione (Asian Fusion)**

Mike was starving. He'd never wanted a cafeteria chili dog so much in his entire life. He was already halfway done eating it when he sat down at the gleeks' table. "Where's Tina?" he mumbled through a mouthful.

"That's disgusting, Mike," Mercedes said.

"And we thought she was with you," Artie told him.

Mike shook his head. "She has AP Military History before lunch—it's on the other side of the school from me."

"I haven't seen her," Sam said.

Mike frowned and stuffed the rest of his hot dog into his mouth. "'ee oo 'uys 'a-er." He picked up his carton of tater tots and walked the length of the cafeteria. He scanned the quad for his girlfriend but didn't see her, so he climbed the steps and looked around. Finally, he spotted her, partially hidden behind a tree.

"Hey," he said, reaching her.

"Mike!" Tina yelped, jumping. "You scared me."

"Sorry." He sat down next to her. "We were looking for you."

"Yeah…sorry. I'm having a rough day. Wanted some alone time to unwind."

"Aw, I'm sorry, babe. What are you writing?"

"Nothing," she said, trying to close her notebook.

"Is that…Harry/Hermione fan fiction?"

"…don't judge me."


	11. Scandal

**200- Scandal (Faberritana; trigger warning for mentions of abuse)**

Three of the four sets of parents had taken the news surprisingly well. Currently, all parties, save one, were sitting in the Lopez's living room. Brittany was staring out the window, Rachel was humming to herself, and Santana was pacing like a caged tiger.

"Where is she?" Rachel whispered.

"She's got another ten minutes before I go over there," Santana grumbled.

"There might not be anything wrong," Mrs. Pierce reminded them. "You four dropped quite a large piece of news on us tonight. They could just be talking it out."

"Guys! I see her car…but it's…"

Santana ran over to the window. "Why is she driving stopping and starting?"

Leroy Berry was the first out the door, followed closely by the rest. He sprinted down the street, and made it to the car first. "Hiram! Call 911!"

"Oh my god," Rachel said, standing next to him.

Santana got into the passenger seat and put the car in park. "Q, we're right here, baby. Just try not to move."

"He said…I couldn't see you. It would be…a scandal."

"He's going to have a scandal once the police find him," Mr. Pierce growled.

"Shhh. Don't talk. The ambulance is on its way."


	12. Peacock

**200- Peacock**

"Is there a reason we chose the zoo for our team building day?" Mercedes asked, plugging her nose.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," Tina said.

"Okay guys!" Will called. "We've seen the reptiles, the monkeys and the otters…where to next?"

"The bird exhibit is close," Rachel said excitedly.

"Please, for the love of god, yes," Quinn said, taking her hand. "It's all she's talked about all week."

"Alright, birds it is," Will said.

"Er…I think I'm going to sit this one out, if that's cool," Sam said.

"Defeats the purpose of team building, Trouty Mouth."

"Santana's right, Sam," Will said. "None of this is optional."

"No, I know…it's just…. I have a complicated relationship with birds."

"What does that mean?" Blaine asked.

"…I have ornithophobia…."

"You're afraid of birds?" Quinn asked.

"You would be too if you'd been attacked by a peacock at three years old!"

"Okay, so everyone who wants to go to the bird exhibit, follow Mr. Schue, and everyone who want to meet Sam's fishy brethren at the aquarium, go with him," Santana said.

"Santana…" Will said.

"What? Problem solved."

Will sighed. "Name calling aside, it's a good idea. Let's get moving, you guys."


	13. Night

**200- Night (Fierce)  
**

Quinn loved the night. It was her favorite time of…well, for lack of a better word, day. As a kid, it was the time when she would stay up with a flashlight, reading about faraway places and magical people. When she got older, it was all about the sleepovers. Getting to stay up and eat junk food and talk about stupid middle school drama. Then Beth happened, and it was the one time where she could let her guard down and relax, or cry, or both. It had always been the time where she didn't have to worry about being the perfect daughter, or the hot Cheerio, or the A+ student.

She could just be Quinn.

She yawned and crawled back into bed. A lot had changed, but she still loved the night time. Now, though, it was for fighting the monsters in her kids' closet, and snuggling with her wife. Well…most nights they did more than just snuggle.

"Quinn?"

"Hey Britt. Go back to sleep, okay?"

"Mmmmph."

Quinn smiled, held her tightly, and closed her eyes. "Want to take the kids to the park tomorrow?"

"So long as me and Jacob get to feed the ducks."

"Of course, baby."


	14. Shooting

**200- Shooting (Faberry) Xposted to Tumblr as When Quinnie Comes Marching Home  
**

Rachel paced the living room, wringing her hands. It wasn't fair…. Quinn was off in the middle of battle and she was stuck here, at their apartment. She finally sat down next to Kurt, who put his arm around her. She didn't want to be comforted—she was worried, damn it!

Staring at the phone, she asked, "What if something goes wrong?"

"Rachel—"

"Don't. Don't try to pacify me. Anything could happen to her…. I almost lost her once, Kurt. And now she's out there, fighting…."

Kurt smiled and took both of her hands in his. "Rachel, honey…please listen. Quinn loves you. She's going to come home in one piece. I know it."

"You don't know that. You can't know that. She could get hurt…. She could come back so broken that we don't even recognize her."

"Rachel, you're going to drive yourself crazy like this," Kurt said firmly. "She's trained…hell, she's been shooting a gun since she was old enough to see the target. Nothing's going to happen to Quinn."

"She's storming a beach, for heaven's sake!" Rachel wailed. "Grenades going off…Nazis shooting at them. Kurt, anything could happen!"

"Rachel…you do remember that this is just paintball, right?"


	15. Wish

**200- Wish (Finn/Sugar)  
**

There were times when Finn suspected that he and Sugar were raising a spoiled brat.

This was one of those times.

"Princess, don't yell at Daddy," Sugar said. "Come here, and tell me why you want your birthday wish to be a trip to New York."

"Because!" the ten year old whined. "New York is so much cooler than Lima. And then I could see Aunt Rachel and Tia Santana."

"Honey," Finn said, trying to keep his voice even. "We can't just go to New York on short notice. I have to work. Mommy…has plans and stuff."

"You don't have to work, Daddy. We're rich," Princess huffed.

Finn sighed. A tantrum was about to occur if he wasn't careful. "Tell you what…" he said, thinking quickly. "I'll go call your aunts and see what they're up to this weekend. If they aren't busy and I can find someone to take over my shifts at the store…we'll think about New York."

"YAY! We'll go see a baseball game, and a Broadway show, and go shopping at Tiffany's!"

"You're ten, for crying out loud," Finn moaned.

"Go play outside for a while," Sugar told her. "I think you've giving Daddy a complex."


	16. Pineapples

**_LbN: This chapter is rated M, for discussions about...bodily functions...? Yeah. Anyway..._  
**

* * *

**200- Pineapples**

Santana peeked into the fridge and stared on in disbelief. What the hell was with Rachel and pineapples recently? There were no less than five Dole snack cups, two cartons of pineapple juice, and one whole pineapple there. Enough was enough—it had been like this for the past week and a half. Ever since Rachel had come back from visiting Quinn, she'd been obsessed with the tropical fruit.

"Rachel!"

"What is it, Santana?"

"Could you come down here? I have a question."

"Yes?" Rachel asked, walking in.

"Am I going to have to put you in a twelve-step program?"

"Oh! That," Rachel said. "Well, as you may know there are a lot of foods that affect the taste of seminal or vaginal fluids—"

Santana spit out the sip of coffee she'd just taken.

"—but pineapple is one of the most powerful. Eating a lot of pineapple makes you taste sweeter, and less 'fishy'—"

"Berry!"

"And as Quinn and I have taken the next step in our relationship—"

"BERRY! No! I'm sorry I asked!"

"Really Santana…we're both mature adults—"

"La la la! I can't hear you!" Santana made a mental note to stop asking questions….


	17. Old Photographs

**200- Old Photographs**

The hospital room was filled with old photographs. Brittany had asked for some happy pictures, and Santana, always the thoughtful girlfriend, had brought plenty.

"How about we look through the photo album now?" she suggested, eager to keep the blonde entertained.

"Yeah," Brittany said, scooting up into a sitting position.

"Once upon a time, there were two smoking hot cheerleaders," Santana said, opening the book.

"Really? Fairy tale us?"

"Gotta make it interesting for Junior," she said, kissing the blonde. "Anyway, they grew up together and fell in love. One moved to New York to become an actress, and the other went to L.A. to become a kick ass dancer. The actress got a big break, and moved out to L.A. to be closer to the dancer. Everything was awesome, especially when their friends, Q and R, came to visit them. One day, the dancer took the actress to the beach. She proposed, completely surprising the actress."

"And their wedding was off the hook," Quinn said, coming in with Rachel.

"I see we've arrived in time to add the road trip scrapbook to the story," Rachel said.

"I don't think we have time," Brittany said.

"Why?"

"My water just broke."


	18. Into the Nothing

**200- Into the Nothing**

_Into the nothing  
Faded and weary  
I won't leave and let you fall behind  
Live for the dying  
Heaven hear me  
I know we can make it out alive_

* * *

"We should keep going," Blaine said.

"No way," Santana said. "If we get run down that means we'll lose whatever lead we had. Plus…." She glanced over to where Quinn was helping Rachel into a chair. "We could all use a rest."

"…I'll do a perimeter check," he said.

They'd been together when the virus had started to spread. They'd taken Noah and Sam's trucks to escape. There were rumors…the virus was different up north. Curable, and contained. In the south it spread like wildfire. But they'd lost so many. It was hard to keep going sometimes.

"All clear," Blaine said, reentering.

"Good. You guys get some sleep. I'll take first watch."

It didn't take them long to fall asleep. It had been a hard few days.

"Santana?"

"What up, Shortie?"

Rachel struggled to a sitting position. "I need you to talk to Quinn…. You guys have to leave me behind."

"I would slap you, if Q wouldn't kill me for it."

"I'm hurt, and I'm slowing you down."

"Do you think Britt would've left you? Or that Q wants to go through what I'm feeling?"

Rachel was quiet.

"We're in this together. Now shut up and get some sleep."


	19. I Swear

**200- I Swear (Quinntana; song by All 4 One)  
**

_I swear by the moon_  
_ And the stars in the sky; I'll be there_  
_ I swear like the shadow that's by your side_  
_ I'll be there for better or worse_  
_ Till death do us part_  
_ I'll love you with every beat of my heart_  
_ I swear**  
**_

"This is really weird," Santana said.

"Hush," Quinn told her, grinning.

"Stop smirking at me."

"Are you peeking, Santana?"

"No. I just now you have your Quinn Grin on. I can hear it in your voice."

"Oh for crying out loud," Quinn laughed. "Just hold tight. We're almost there."

"I'm just not used to riding in a car with a blindfold on. I feel like I'm being kidnapped."

"Good…it adds to the mystery."

"Can I have a hint?"

"Nope."

Quinn drove along the coast for a while before pulling into a community of beach houses. She drove down to the fifth one and pulled into the driveway. She led Santana out of the car and around to the patio.

"Is that sand?"

"You can take your blindfold off now."

A grin spread across Santana's face. "The beach house. We haven't been here since sophomore year of college."

"Yep. Remember that fight we had? And…when we made up how I said I would never let you go again?"

"Yeah?"

Quinn knelt down in the sand. "I meant that. Santana, I love you. Will you marry me?"

Santana swayed for a second before tackling Quinn into a hug and kissing her. "Yes."

_**LbN: Taking requests!**_


	20. The Last Night

**200- The Last Night (Dave/Blaine; song by Skillet)  
**

_This is the last night you'll spend alone_  
_ Look me in the eyes so I know you know_  
_ I'm everywhere you want me to be._  
_ The last night you'll spend alone,_  
_ I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,_  
_ I'm everything you need me to be._**  
**

Dave had never particularly liked his body. Besides the fact that it was good for football and meant that damn near nobody could toss him into a school dumpster, it was kind of big and clunky. He wasn't small and cute like Kurt, or athletic but slim like Sam. And usually he was ambivalent about it—minus the times when Blaine called him "his favorite teddy bear"—then he quite liked it.

And now, staring at Blaine Anderson Senior, he was glad of his hulking figure. It made him less afraid.

"The fuck are you doing here?" Blaine's dad asked.

"I came to get some of Blaine's things," Dave said evenly.

"His things? I paid for everything that ungrateful fag has."

Dave flinched, but squared his shoulders. "He needs clothes. That's all I'll take."

The man sneered, but moved aside so Dave could get in.

Dave filled the duffle bag as quickly as he could, and left without another word. He drove far over the speed limit to get back to his house, and rushed upstairs. "Blaine?"

"I'm here."

He cuddled next to his boyfriend and examined the blood-stained bandages on Blaine's arms. "He'll never hurt you again. I promise."


	21. Fragments

**200- Fragments **

The longer Rachel lived with Santana, the more random things she learned about the girl. Like the fact that Santana was a black belt in two forms of martial arts. Or that she had an unhealthy obsession with Nutella-covered pancakes. The second month of living together, she'd found out that Santana slept with a stuffed elephant.

"His name is Daniel," she'd muttered. "And he was a Christmas gift from my Nana. Tell anyone, I ends you."

"Don't worry, Santana. Your secret's safe with me."

They'd moved in together out of necessity. Rachel's potential roommate was a grade-A psychopath, and Santana figured her graduation money would only get her so far. So they'd made a deal not to kill each other, and moved in together. They'd written up "house rules" so that no one fucked up right off the bat. It worked pretty well. And Santana was learning just as much about Rachel, as the tiny diva was learning about her.

So when Rachel walked in with flowers from the market, and found Santana playing the cello, neither girl batted an eye.

"Flowers?"

"I like to brighten up my living area. What are you playing?"

"Fragments, by Adam Hurst."

"Cool."

"Cool."


	22. Magenta

**200- Magenta (warning! Abusive!Finn)  
**

"Rachel!"

She flinched at the sound of Finn's booming voice. She turned just as he marched into the room and shoved a shirt under her nose. It was a brilliant shade of magenta.

"What the fuck is this?"

"I don't—"

"Are you that stupid that you can't separate the fucking colors from the whites? And whose shirt is this?" he asked, holding up the dark red one. "It isn't mine. Who the fuck does this belong to, Rachel?"

"I don't know, Finn," she said. "It probably got mixed in with our clothes. We have a community laundry matt."

Finn snorted. "Sure. Who the fuck is he, Rachel?"

"Finn, this doesn't even look like a grown man's shirt! Just because you're cheating doesn't mean I am too!"

The punch came so quickly, Rachel didn't even have time to duck. She stayed down as he stormed out of the room. When she finally heard the front door slam, she crawled, dizzy, over to the end table and picked up her phone.

"Hey Hobbit!"

Rachel choked back a sob hearing her friend's voice. "Santana…"

"Rachel? What's wrong?"

"Finn…I…I need you to come get me. Please."

"Be there in five, Shorty. Don't worry."


	23. King Henry 8th

**200- Henry VIII (Klaine)  
**

Kurt hadn't known better. He'd been in a post-orgasmic haze when Blaine had first suggested their honeymoon location. Even when they'd talked about it after, he had failed to note the look of fiendish glee in the ex-Warbler's eyes. London sounded like a fantastic spot for a honeymoon. Enough to do, but also tons of spots where they could just chill with a latte and people-watch.

So he'd agreed. Not knowing the absolute hell he was signing up for.

"Okay, love!" Blaine chirped at seven that morning. "We have breakfast scheduled at St. Ali, and then we're hopping on a train. So get up! Hampton Court Palace waits for no man!"

"Right…I'm up."

The problem was that Blaine was completely, utterly, irredeemably obsessed with King Henry the 8th. And not just the show The Tudors. It was absolute insanity. Blaine knew everything about him, including how to keep the wives in order ("Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived."). Thus, Kurt had been dragged around to so many historical sites, he thought his feet were going to fall off. Still, as he dragged himself out of bed and looked at Blaine's excited face, he knew his husband was definitely worth it.


	24. Assassination

**200- Assassination (Quina & Puckleberry)**

Quinn looked through the scope on her rifle and repressed the urge to growl in frustration. Their mark should have been there fifteen minutes ago. "Romeo, this is Quebec."

"Romeo here," another voice said.

"Do we have an update from the ground?"

"I'll check."

Quinn waited, radio close to her ear. A minute later, Rachel's voice came through.

"Report from Tango says to keep a lookout. ETA, five minutes."

Thank god. "Got it."

She waited. Sure enough, a black limousine came round the corner. Quinn lined up her shot….

The vehicle swerved a second later, crashing into a poll. The police on the ground ran to see what happened, but Quinn had already started her retreat. Down in the car garage, a blue SUV squealed to a stop in front of her. She hopped in and smirked at the occupants.

"Nice shot, baby," Tina said, taking her hand.

"Thanks. Would have been nice if they'd been on time."

"Stupid foreign dignitaries, being late to their own assassination," Puck quipped from the driver's seat.

"Shut it, Noah," Rachel said, punching him playfully.

They pulled out of the garage, onto the sunlit road.

"Well done, team," their boss said through their radio.


	25. Video Games

**200- Video Games (Samchel)**

Rachel would never understand Sam's love of video games. That didn't mean she didn't try, though. They had video game dates, where he would teach her new games and see if he could convert her to the Church of Xbox and Playstation. It was kind of working. Her current favorite was Red Dead Redemption, which he found extremely amusing for reasons unknown to her.

She put the pizza box down on the coffee table and looked on in confusion as Sam hooked up a completely new gaming system. This one had to be old…there were only three buttons and an arrow pad. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"What's this one?"

"This, my love, is a Sega Genesis. Prepare to be amazed."

Fifteen minutes later, they were three levels into Streets of Rage.

"This is so satisfying!" Rachel said, beating a bad guy with a crowbar.

"Knew you'd like to kick it old school."

"But seriously…the health power ups make no sense. Who puts a ham in a phone booth?"

"Who eats an apple out of a trashcan?" Sam countered. "Just go with it."

"How many more games do you have for this console?"

"Fifty."

"Hope you didn't have other plans for the weekend."


	26. Fabreeze

**200- Fabreeze**

The three friends had hectic schedules during the week, sometimes hardly seeing each other, so they liked to relax with a stack of movies on the weekends.

When Rachel gasped and looked up at the other two with wide eyes, they knew that they wouldn't be relaxing that day.

"What's up, Berry Kix?" Santana asked.

"My parents are coming."

"WHAT?" she and Quinn yelped.

"They'll be here in four hours."

All three of them looked around the apartment. They lived like boys. The first time Santana had pointed this out, she'd gotten a talking-to from Rachel about gender stereotypes…. But the point was none of them ever felt like cleaning up, so the apartment looked like a Category 5 had hit.

"Santana," Quinn said calmly. "I need you to go to the store and get groceries. There's a list on the fridge. Rachel, you get showered and changed and go pick up some flowers and fresh fruit from the market. I'll start cleaning.

"But—"

"Nope. I've got this."

* * *

The apartment was spotless when they got back.

"It smells like Christmas and strawberries," Santana said in awe.

"What…?"

"Magic," Quinn said, tucking her bottle of Fabreeze out of sight.


	27. Toes

**200- Toes (Quintana)**

"Don't you think she's a little young for this?" Santana asked as she helped Beth with her jacket.

"She's eight—it's perfectly fine," Quinn said. "I've seen five year olds in that place. Plus, it's not like this is a regular thing. It's special."

"I guess…."

"I hereby promise not to turn into a pageant mom," Quinn teased, wrapping her arms around her wife. "Mommy-daughter mani/pedi day is strictly a birthday treat."

Santana smiled and kissed her and Beth. "Have fun."

"Laterz, Mama!"

Quinn watched fondly as Beth wiggled her toes. She'd never seen the little girl so still, or so in awe of something.

"Do you think Mama will like them?" Beth asked, wiggling her fingers at Quinn.

"I think she will definitely approve the Green Lantern logo painted on your nails."

"Probably should have gone with Batman for my toes," the girl said.

Quinn laughed. "Captain America is perfectly acceptable."

"This isn't what girls normally get, is it?" she asked. She was looking at all the flower designs on the brochure.

"Probably not, but that just means you've got something cool and different to show your friends at school." She kissed her on the forehead and smiled.


	28. Pickled Herring

**200- Pickled Herring (Klaine- continuation of the Henry VIII chapter)**

"Wake up," Blaine sang.

"Morning," Kurt said, snuggling into him. "What's the plan for today?"

"Well…since my fantastic husband has been indulging every one of my London fantasies, I figured I'd let him decide."

Kurt opened one eye and peered at him. "And it can be anything I want?"

"I draw the line at anything that'll get us deported. That includes public nudity."

"Fair enough." Kurt sat up and stretched. "Today, I'm turning you into a foodie."

"I don't see why I have to do this. I've been eating British food the whole time."

"You have not. You've been eating things that are both staples of the American diet as well as the British diet. I'd give you points for the English breakfast, but you didn't touch your beans or your blood pudding."

"Nothing with the term 'blood' in it sounds appetizing to me."

"Come on, be a good sport. There are some perfectly good things here. Try the marmalade, it's delicious."

Blaine was steadily making his way through the breakfast platter Kurt had ordered. He had no idea what Bubble and Squeak was, but it wasn't half bad. "What's this?"

"Pickled herring."

"…I love you, but no way…."


	29. Strawberries

**200- Strawberries (Finchel)**

Finn sat in the waiting room, shaking with nerves. Santana and Quinn were on either side of him, holding his hands.

"She's going to be okay," Quinn said.

"Yeah," Santana agreed, rubbing his back. "You know our Hobbit's too stubborn to let anything keep her down."

The Berry men rushed in at that moment. "Guys, what happened?" Hiram asked.

Finn couldn't hold his tears in.

Santana gave Quinn a look, and then stood to talk to Rachel's dads. "One of the hockey players…they dropped strawberries into Rachel's soup when no one was looking."

"She's allergic…." Leroy said.

"Mike had an epi-pen on him, but the reaction was pretty bad," Santana said. "Finn called 911 and I gave her the shot. They won't tell us anything."

Hiram hugged her. "Thank you. We'll let you know as soon as we find something out."

"Finn," Leroy said. "I'm sure she'll be fine. You did great. All of you."

"Do they know who did it?" Hiram asked, pausing at the door to the ER.

"Coach Sylvester caught him," Quinn said, nodding.

The two men nodded. "Thank you, again. We'll be out as soon as we have some information."

The trio sat down to wait.


	30. Skin

**200- Skin**

Sam leaned against the hood of his car as he waited for his son to come out of the building. He wondered, as he had before, if Dallas, Texas was in fact the hottest place on earth. "Hey Bam Bam!" he called. A frown passed over his face when his son got closer. The boy had been crying. "What's wrong, Bam?" he asked softly.

"Kids were mean today."

"What happened?" Sam asked, once he'd pulled out of the parking lot. He glanced into the rearview mirror, hearing a quiet sob.

"They said our family is weird, 'cause our skins don't match."

Sam would've pulled a Starsky and Hutch worth U-turn, but Mercedes would've killed him. "You got half of your looks from me and half from Mommy. We're not weird—just colorful. Not every family looks the same. Some look like Uncle Finn and Aunt Sugar, or Aunts Rachel and Quinn. Some look like us. And there's nothing wrong with any of our families."

The eight year old sniffed and nodded. "Okay, Daddy."

"What did your teacher say when they said that?"

"He just told us to settle down."

Sam scowled at the road ahead. Time for a parent-teacher conference.


	31. Forum Member Cameo

**200- Forum Member (From the Teachers' Lounge forum) :)  
**

Santana dropped her keys on the counter and cringed. She heard a loud clacking noise coming from the attic. "Britt!"

"Be nice, Santana," Brittany said from the couch. "He's only here for a week."

"But he's using my pool table!" she whined.

"Be nice."

Santana huffed and stalked upstairs. The music that had been faint downstairs got louder as she climbed to the attic. "Fred? FRED!"

There was another loud clack as the man continued his game of pool. It was only when Santana switched off the music that he noticed her.

"Oh! Hi Santana!"

"Is there a reason you've invaded the Fortress of Solitude?"

Fred just laughed. "Fortress of Solitude? That's a good one."

Santana grumbled and climbed back down the stairs. She took her phone out and hit four on speed dial as she walked to her bedroom.

"You've reached Rachel and Quinn Fabray. We're either watching a hockey game, auditioning, writing, or having sex. Mom and Dads, if this is you, it's not the last one. Leave a message after the—"

_Beep!_

"Fabray! Tell your wife I'm kidnapping you for a bestie date. Brittany's cousin's in town and I'm five minutes from going all Lima Heights…."


	32. The Hellephant

**200- The Hellephant (Tuintana)  
**

Tina was shaking with excitement as their carriage came to a stop. Cirque Gothica was everything she'd expected. Half rollercoaster, half haunted house, this was definitely the best present Santana and Quinn had ever gotten her.

"Why are we stopped?" Quinn wondered.

"Maybe we get out here?" Santana said. On cue, the safety bar lifted and a path lit up for them.

They climbed out of the car and walked along the path. Things were too quiet. They could still hear the screams from the other rooms, but this one was silent. Tina took her girlfriends' hands as the carriage rolled away.

"Three doors, choose wisely," Quinn read.

"I've watched enough horror movies to know that you never pick the one in the middle," Santana said.

"The right door," Tina said, leading the way through it.

It was smoky in the room, and they almost didn't see it. Almost.

"HOLY FUCK!"

"Run!"

A growling sound filled the air as the Hellephant came into clearer view. A tall, angry thing with glowing red eyes…it boomed out, "You will never escape my children."

"Shit, it's the batchildren again!"

"This is the last time you get to pick your birthday present!" Quinn shouted.


	33. Annoying Siblings

**200- Annoying Sibling (Cherry)  
**

Mike growled in frustration as he cleaned up the water on the bathroom floor. He didn't understand how something so tiny could cause as much destruction as Hurricane Katrina. He gathered up the five beach towels and trudged to the laundry room. At least Rachel was there to help babysit. Dumping the towels in the washing machine, he walked back to the small room. Leaning on the door frame, he smiled.

Rachel was sitting on the Lightning McQueen bed, holding William in her lap. Apparently it was story time, and he was reading to her. It was an interesting tale to say the least.

"Then the ninjas came and asked the dinosaur for some peanut butter…but the T-Rex said 'No! I only eat steak and bacon!' And they kicked him in the face. It made him cry."

Mike sniggered and then froze when they looked up at him. "Can I listen too?"

"Sure!" Will chirped.

"Go change first," Rachel said. "You look like you've been swimming."

"Be right back." He listened to his brother continue the story as he walked down the hall to his room. The kid may be annoying, but even Mike had to admit he was adorable.


	34. I Forgot

**200- "I forgot!" (Quintana)  
**

"I forgot!" Quinn said. "It's been on the calendar and we've talked about it, and I still forgot."

"Quinn…." Rachel said, slightly amused. "I'm sure she'll understand. You've both been so busy with work."

"Rachel…that's not the point! Of course she'll understand. She'll understand because she's Santana, and she loves me, and she never wants to admit when she's hurt or disappointed. She'll say it's fine, and she'll love whatever make-up gift I get her, but it'll still be there! I forgot her birthday! And everything's closed now!"

"Walmart's not."

"I'm not getting my wife a gift from Walmart, Rachel!"

"Sorry…just trying to be solutions oriented here. You could order something on Amazon and just tell her it didn't get here on time."

"She can tell when I'm lying, and it would just make me feel worse."

"Er…Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"Santana's birthday is the 25th, right?"

"Right…."

"Honey…it's still the 24th."

Quinn sat straight up on the couch, then looked at her planner. "But…oh holy crap."

"You guys have been working way too hard," Rachel said, giggling. "You can't even remember what day it is. You still have tomorrow to shop."

"Oh, thank god. I owe you."

"Damn right, you do."


	35. Fanfic and Folk Music

**200- Fan Fiction and folk music (Bartie; mentions Fapezberry)  
**

It was his first day off in months. Running a multibillion dollar business was tough work, yo. Artie wheeled himself into his office and turned on his computer. He wished Brittany was there with him, but she was off having fun with Rachel, Santana and Quinn.

* * *

"_Have fun! Try not to absorb my wife into your trifecta of love," Artie said, laughing._

"_No worries, Abrams," Quinn said. "I'll keep the other two under control."_

* * *

The room came to life around him, as all the walls were touch screens. He was beginning to understand why Santana called him Bruce Wayne….

"Music Box," he called. It was just one of the programs he'd developed in the past five years. The wall to his right brought it up, and he waved his hand in front of the screen's sensor to scroll. Finally he chose Joni Mitchell and hit play. As the sounds of folk music floated quietly through the room, he brought up Fanfiction World. This was all Tina and Mike's fault. They'd introduced him to the concept, and he'd found so much Dr. Who fic that it had become a secret addiction.

His day off was going to kick ass.


	36. Young Singers

**200- Young Singers (Mentions Puck/Brittany)  
**

"I'm about to make a 'No Singers Younger than 25' policy for this damn label," Mercedes moaned.

"Brats giving you trouble?" Puck asked.

"I want to sit them down and explain that just because you sing and people like you, doesn't mean you're entitled to everything on the planet! I refuse to be bullied by fifteen year olds. Had enough of that bullshit in high school!"

"Preach, Hot Chocolate."

"How's Brittany?"

"Good," he said, beaming. "Don't tell anyone, but we just found out that it's a boy."

She laughed. "That's four Pucks in the house?"

"The next one's going to be a girl—we're adopting."

The door burst open then. Toby Reyes and his manager stormed in.

"What happened with the helicopter? I have to look fly!"

"Watch your tone," Puck growled.

"Don't talk to him like that," the manager squeaked. "Do you know who he is?"

"He's a spoiled little brat who thinks he owns the world. You don't, kid. And you had better take it down a notch when talking to your boss."

The kid glowered at Puck and Mercedes for a moment, blushing. "Come on, Shawn."

The manager followed him out.

"Thanks, Puck."

"I got your back."


	37. Big Trouble

**200- Big Trouble (Mentions Faberry)  
**

Cory Hudson knew he was in trouble. Big trouble. The kind of trouble that would make him want to run away from home, if he hadn't already done that. He sat sniffling in the police station, hoping Aunt Quinn would understand. It wasn't even his fault! If his parents hadn't been so awful, none of them would be in this situation.

"Yes, Mrs. Fabray. Just ask for Sergeant Hanson when you get to the station, and tell them what you're here for. Thank you; I'll see you soon."

Cory flinched when the cop put the phone down.

"Your aunt's on her way."

That's what he was afraid of.

Fifteen minutes later, he heard the clacking of heels in the hallway and looked up to see a blonde rushing toward him.

"Don't you ever. Scare us. Like that. Again," Quinn said, pulling him into a hug. "What were you thinking?"

He broke down in tears. "I just want to stay with you and Aunt Rachel," he sobbed. "I don't want to listen to them fight anymore."

Quinn deflated visibly at his words and held him close. "Come on. We'll pick Aunt Rachel up and get dinner. Then we'll call your parents."


	38. Sleepy

**200- Sleepy (sequel to Magenta)  
**

Santana parked the car and sprinted up the stairs. She didn't know what was going on, but she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Ever since Finn had turned up in New York, he'd done nothing but bring Rachel down. She hadn't understood her friend's decision to move in with him, but she'd kept her objections to herself in favor of being Rachel's friend. Still, in the last few weeks, she'd known something had changed. And as she grabbed the spare key from under the mat, she was scared to think of what had happened. "Rachel?" she called.

There was no answer.

She crept through the apartment, checking every room. Finally, she spotted her friend on the floor of the master bedroom. Letting out a string of Spanish, she ran over. "Rachel! Look at me, babe. Open your eyes."

"S-Santana?"

"Yeah, it's me. We're going." She helped Rachel struggle to her feet, glad that the actress was super light.

"Sleepy."

"No, Rachel," she said softly, leading them out of the apartment. "You've got to stay awake."

"Thank you," Rachel whispered when they made it to the car.

Santana choked back tears, and drove toward the hospital.


	39. Unpleasant Odor

**200- Unpleasant Odor**

Rachel walked back to her dorm after her date with Santana. It had been so much fun, and Santana had offered for her to move in. That was new. She thought hard as she let herself into the NYADA sophomores' housing unit. True, she really liked Santana…and they did get along surprisingly well. Plus, there was the added fact that she absolutely hated her current roommate. Still, was she ready to live with her girlfriend?

As she got closer to her room, an unpleasant odor filled her nose. Oh, sweet Barbara…what now? She pushed the door open (Haley never left it locked) and gasped.

"Oh, hey Rachel!"

"Haley…what is this?" she asked, trying not to retch.

"It's a holistic headache cure. You gut a fish, and fry the innards. Then you boil all of it, mix in some jasmine and rosemary, and let it steep."

Rachel turned and headed straight for the bathroom. She made it just in time. When she was done ejecting the fantastic dinner she'd had earlier, she pulled out her phone. "Santana?"

"Heya, Short Stack! What's up?"

"I'm in."

"In what?"

"I want to move in."

"That was quick. Thought you needed time?"

"I'm sure."


	40. Making Enchiladas

**200- Making Enchiladas (Fapezberry)  
**

"For crying out loud, Rachel!"

"I'm just saying, it would be more efficient—"

"To hell with efficiency; I just want to cook!"

Quinn huffed. "Please, just let me do this? You can get started in dessert."

Rachel walked two steps over to the fridge and opened the freezer. There were three tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream stacked right in front. "Dessert."

"You're a brat," Quinn said affectionately. She wiped a bit of refried black beans on Rachel's nose.

"QUINN! That has pork in it!"

"So do the enchiladas, and yet you want to help cook them."

Rachel flicked lettuce at her.

Quinn quirked an eyebrow. "Don't start anything you can't finish, baby girl."

"I finish everything I start."

It was on.

* * *

"Hey, girls! Where are my—what the hell?" Santana asked, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen. She surveyed the wreckage of the room and looked at her girlfriends, trying not to laugh. "Er…what happened?"

"We're making dinner for you," Rachel said, chipper despite the tomatoes in her hair.

"We got distracted," Quinn said, as a soggy tortilla slid down the side of her face.

"I can tell," Santana said, amused. "I'll call for delivery."


	41. There Goes My Baby

**200- There Goes My Baby**

"Let me get this straight," Santana said. "You're making the girl who's been choreographing everything for three years, try out for the dance spotlight….?"

"It's only fair, Santana," Mr. Schue said tiredly. "We have tryouts for everything else."

"Yeah, because for the most part we're on an even playing field there. But Brittany dances circles around everyone in this room."

"It's okay, S," Brittany said, smiling at her. "I don't mind. And it'll be fun."

That smile calmed Santana immediately. "Whatever you want, Britts."

"Whipped," Puck fake-coughed.

Santana didn't even dignify it with a response. She just sat back and watched as Brittany took the stage. She watched with a smile as Brittany, predictably, outshone the other three dancers.

"She's so great," Rachel whispered.

"That's my girl."

* * *

"You were amazing today," Santana said, cuddling up next to Brittany.

"Thanks, San. Do you think I got the part?" she asked, smirking.

"Yeah, I think it's safe to say that Wheezy and Lady Asian couldn't hold a candle to you. But enough about glee…. I wants to gets my cuddles on."

Brittany giggled and kissed her girlfriend. "10 Things I Hate About You and sweet lady kisses?

"You read my mind."

* * *

**Glee Previews:**

**Snapshots of Forever  
**

Quinn looked up from her book to watch her girlfriend type away at her laptop. She smiled as Santana Googled apartments in New York. "Stop."

"What?"

"You're doing it again," Quinn said.

"Doing what?"

"Stressing over college. It's our last summer as a group! We should be…I don't know, toilet papering Schue's house or something."

"I can't be the only one stuck here in Lima," Santana whispered. "Even Finn's getting out! If that dickbag's leaving, I am too."

"You are getting out of here. You've got a full ride to Cornell. And I thought you and Finn had buried the hatchet," Quinn said, laughing.

"For one specific fight. Doesn't mean we're not still awful to each other on occasion. It's a delicate balance. And as to Cornell, the full ride doesn't matter if I'm sleeping in a tent on the streets."

"I see. Okay, close your laptop. We're going swimming."

"It's ten o'clock at night."

"I fail to see a problem."

Santana gave her a look, then grinned. "Fine," she muttered.

Quinn hugged her. "You're going to be fine. Even if you're stuck in the freshmen dorms for a year." She started to leave the room, but Santana called her back. "What is it?"

"Uh, aren't you forgetting your swimsuit?"

"Since when do we need clothes to swim?"

Santana grinned. She loved her girlfriend.


	42. Walking Away

**200- Walking Away**

Blaine lay awake, dreading the next day. He hadn't gotten suspended, because he was acting in self defense. Unfortunately that meant he had to go back and face the idiot's friends the next day. He already had matching black eyes—he wasn't too excited about what they'd break next.

He sat up, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. He swallowed the lump in his throat and stood. He'd been dreading this dreading the day when his dad decided having him in the far wing of the house wasn't far enough.

Blaine Anderson Sr. peeked into the room a second later. "Good," he said. "You're still up."

"Dad?"

"I just wanted you to know…I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. And I wanted to give you this." He handed over a garment bag.

Blaine unzipped it and saw a blue and red uniform.

"Dalton Academy. I still don't like this whole…gay thing you're into…. But there's no use in you getting beat for it. The bullying policy at this place is air tight, and enforced, from what I hear. Get to sleep—you'll have to be up early to drive."

Blaine nodded silently. Maybe he'd be alright after all.


	43. Girl Scout Cookies

**200- Girl Scout Cookies**

Santana opened her eyes and peered at her girlfriend. She seemed to be asleep. As quietly as she could, the older girl slipped out of bed and tiptoed from their room. It had been like this for weeks, these midnight missions. She loved Rachel, but she couldn't let her tiny star find out. There would be hell to pay. She wasn't sure if anger or disappointment would be the overall emotion from her girlfriend, but she wasn't about to find out.

She made it downstairs and paused, listening closely. Nothing. Relieved, she went into their study room and pulled an American History textbook off the shelf. She opened it, and promptly started drooling. There, in all their delicious, non-vegan glory, were her Girl Scout Cookies. Rolls of Tagalongs, Do-Si-Dos, and (dear God) Thin Mints greeted her. She was almost out, though. She'd have to track down Tracy Gillman in 53B for another order.

With an almost indecent moan, she sat down and munched happily on a few Thin Mints.

"Santana, where—"

Caught.

"Uh…Hi Rae Bear."

"Don't you Ray Bear me! Are those Girl Scout Cookies?"

"No?"

Rachel glared at her. "You are officially cut off until Cookie season ends."


	44. Overlook

**200- Overlook**

When Sam had suggested a hike, he didn't expect Rachel to say yes. He'd hoped she would, but he hadn't expected it. What he really hadn't expected was, when he went to pick her up that morning, to find her looking like Wilderness Explorer Barbie (complete with hiking boots and camelback). Also unexpected, her request to jog the trail.

So when he finally climbed up the last stretch of the hill, panting for breath, he wasn't at all surprised to find her already at the edge of the overlook, surveying the view. She looked a bit red in the face, but not winded in the slightest. "How?" he gasped.

"There's my boyfriend!" she chirped. She dug into the cooler and handed him a water bottle. "As you well know, my last performance was of a girl who was rather outdoorsy. I hiked this trail and a few others for three months to get myself sufficiently in tune with nature in order to do the role justice."

"Should've known," he wheezed, sitting down on a rock.

She smiled and sat next to him. "Next time we won't run. Okay?"

"Sounds fantastic. Next time I won't underestimate the depth of your hobbies."


	45. Massage

**200- Massage**

Rachel wrapped her robe around her and slipped into her flip flops, humming. She opened the door to the bathroom to see Quinn standing there, arms folded. She smirked. "Hi love."

"Hey Rach."

"What's with the frown? I was under the impression that I was giving you enough fantastic honeymoon sex to keep you smiling for the next month or so."

"What's this about you getting a massage from someone who isn't me?" Quinn asked, quirking an eyebrow. It wasn't the HBIC look of old, but the new "You're about to be in a sex coma no matter how you answer" look.

"I thought go relax in the spa for a while. It'll give you a chance to catch up on your writing."

"I don't know if I'm okay with some random lady running her hands all over my princess."

"It's a guy."

"Not better."

"His name is Sven, he's from Norway, and his husband is the hotel's lead chef."

Quinn smiled. "I supposed that's acceptable. Have a good time," she said, leaning down for a kiss.

"But Quinn? If you feel the need to stake possessive claim of your wife when she gets back…. She's totally up for it."


	46. Potential

**200- Potential**

Twenty minutes, then she was free. She turned to rinse out the blender, and heard the bell above the door ring. "With you in a second," she said.

"Hey Santana."

She turned and smiled at William Schuester. "Hey, Mr. Schue! What can I get for you?"

"Iced caramel mocha?"

"Sure thing." She was vaguely aware of his eyes on the back of her head as she worked.

"You have so much more potential than this, Santana," he said quietly.

She sighed. Here he goes….

"You're wasting your potential sitting here in Lima, working at a coffee shop."

She counted to ten, thinking of her summer and her plans for the fall. Wasted potential?

"You really need to add fewer scoops of 'self-righteous' to your Wheeties in the morning," Sue said, walking over.

"What—"

"Can it, William. This girl has been working all summer to pay for a tutor for Brittany this year. She has an internship lined up for the fall. She's been keeping her damn near Sylverstrian temper in check to keep this job, so don't test her."

"Here's your mocha," Santana said.

"Er…thanks. Sorry," Will said.

Sue winked at her.

Sometimes, Santana really loved that creepy psychopath.


	47. Salad

**200- Salad**

Rachel smiled over at her roommate and tried not to laugh.

"What?" Santana asked, catching her look.

"You do know that the point of ordering a salad is usually so that you can be healthier in your eating habits, right?"

"This is healthy! It's got all of the food groups."

"I doubt any nutritionist would sign off on this."

"What's wrong with it?" Santana asked with a grin.

"A pound of beef, two boiled eggs, every vegetable under the sun, parmesan croutons, drenched in what has to be the unhealthiest salad dressing in the world."

"I fail to see the problem."

Rachel shook her head. "With you, there isn't one. You work out constantly, so the heart attack in a bowl should have no effect whatsoever."

"Good to know you're looking out for my smoking hot body," Santana said. "How's the de-veganing going?"

"I've mastered grilled chicken and tuna, but that's it."

"Still no sausage?"

"Why do I get the feeling that was a double entendre?"

"Because it was."

"You're incorrigible!"

"You love me."

"Lies and slander."

"I'm hurt. I'm telling Quinn."

"She likes me better anyway. And she'll agree about the salad."

"Yeah, whatever," Santana said, spearing a tomato.

* * *

**Glee Previews:**

**Date Night in a Jar**

"Oh shit."

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked, peeking over Santana's shoulder to see inside their apartment.

"Rachel's crafting stuff is out."

"Oh god…Um…let's go hide in the game room before she—"

"Santana? Quinn? Oh good, you guys are home."

"Hey Rach," they said in unison.

"Dinner's almost ready," she said. "And I know you're terrified that I'm about to rope you into some kind of elaborate art project, but calm down. Your participation is minimal, and I think you'll actually enjoy it."

"That's what you said about the knitting group," Santana reminded her.

"And the candle making class."

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms. "Fine, make you a deal. I'll tell you what it is and if you don't want to join in, that's perfectly fine. I won't even pout."

Something in the way their girlfriend was smiling told the other two that there was no way they were going to win. Still, they agreed and sat down on the couch.

"I'll be brief. The gist is we suck at choosing date nights. Absolutely suck at it. And it's not that we're all super busy. We're in a routine that's perfectly conducive to spending time together. So I found this idea on Pintrest—"

The other two groaned.

"Shut up," Rachel said, tossing a popsicle stick at them. "Santana, I don't complain about your Tumblr addiction, or Quinn's crazy Farmville compulsion."

"True. Sorry," Santana said, sniggering. "What is all this?"

"Date night in a jar," Rachel said. "So you have nine sticks, sorted into groups of three by their different colors. Red ones are expensive dates, or dates that take planning. So, for instance, a weekend away somewhere. Hot pink are dates out that take less planning and are less expensive—say a movie or something. Light pink are stay at home dates."

"What are the white ones for?" Quinn asked, spotting the three plain sticks already in the jar.

"Those are surprise dates. So whoever pulls them gets to plan it. And it can be anything they want."

Santana and Quinn looked at each other. It was a good idea, but they weren't ready to concede defeat yet.

"So," Rachel continued, smirking. "If you just write down your date ideas, keeping the color scheme in mind, we stick them in a jar, and each week, someone gets to pick."

"What if we're strapped for cash and we can't do big dates?" Santana asked.

"Then we take the red ones out."

"Obviously," Quinn said, giving Santana a playful nudge.

"Right, right."

"So?" Rachel asked.

"You win," the other two said, picking up a few sticks and their Sharpies.**  
**


	48. Dentist

**200- Dentist**

"Run that by me…one more time," Quinn said incredulously.

Finn blushed. "Come on, Quinn. You heard me the first time."

"Yeah, but I didn't believe it. Why are you afraid of the dentist, Finn?"

"I don't know. My mom always joked that it was because my dentist came out in a clown mask with a chainsaw once to scare me into flossing…. At least, I think she was joking."

Quinn looked at the ground for a moment, trying to reign in her laughter. "Okay, no problem. I'll go with you."

"Thanks," he said, obviously relieved.

"Right. I'll be there."

* * *

It was comical. Quinn was pretty sure the dental assistant was laughing at them behind her mask. Finn was sitting in the chair, part of his body hanging off since he was so tall, with Quinn holding his hand.

"Almost finished," the woman said. "What flavor fluoride would you like?"

"'avor?" Finn mumbled.

"Grape, cherry, bubble gum, mint, and fruit punch."

"oot unk."

Quinn sniggered. She couldn't help it.

The woman squirted what looked like red whipped cream onto a mouth guard and put it in Finn's mouth.

Quinn made sure to take a picture. "Rachel's going to love this."


	49. Kennel

**200- Kennel**

Puck and Quinn walked Beth through the dog shelter, each holding one of the tiny girl's hands. They'd worked a lot out with Shelby in their first few months away, and decided as a group that they would still be in Beth's lives. Shelby had let them bring the girl here today to pick out a puppy.

They walked slowly, enjoying just being together.

"Puppy!" the two-year-old called.

"Yeah, little rock star," Puck said. "Puppy."

"Do you think she's going to pick one?" Quinn asked.

"Nah…she just likes pointing at them. You want one, don't you?" he asked, with a grin.

"There are a lot of advantages to not having a roommate and living off campus," Quinn said. "One of the disadvantages is that I'm lonely as fuck."

Beth let go of their hands and toddled forward, sitting in front of one of the kennels. She sat there, transfixed, until her parents caught up.

"I think she found one for both of you," Puck said.

* * *

Shelby dropped the groceries on the counter and peeked into the living room. "Two?" she asked.

"One's for Quinn," Puck said, holding one of the Huskies.

"Couldn't help yourself, huh?"

"Nope," Quinn said happily.


	50. Wheelchair

**200- Wheelchair**

"I was beginning to think you would stay in the hallway all day," Quinn said.

"I nearly panicked and bolted," Rachel admitted. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit with a truck." She patted a space on the bed. "So…you're the second to last person to visit me."

"I wouldn't count on Finn."

"I had a hunch something happened. Couldn't get anything out of Santana or Kurt though."

"I called off the wedding. Before we found out about you."

Quinn was quiet for a second. "Really?"

"I had this moment where I thought, 'What am I doing?' I figured if I couldn't get married without you there…then maybe there was something else going on. But Finn…he got it into his head that…. He thinks there's something between us."

"…like what?"

"…romantically."

"…so I can't give you rides to class on my lap in my cool new wheelchair?"

Rachel snorted, then sobered. "Wheelchair?"

"Temporarily. The doctor says if I work hard, I could be walking by Nationals. Definitely won't have to take it to college with me. And before you can be a silly diva, this is not your fault." She took the brunette's hand. "It's going to be fine."

* * *

**Glee Previews:**

**The Notebook**

Rachel and Quinn sat in the living room playing Connect Four. It was the seventh round, and Quinn was determined to beat Rachel at least once.

"Quinn? Can I ask you something?"

"What's up?"

"Earlier today, at the pool party…you seemed a little put out. Was something wrong?"

Quinn sighed at the memory.

* * *

_"Why are you crying, Lady Asian?" Santana asked._

_"It's just…this is one of the last times we're going to see each other for an entire year. You all start leaving in a couple of weeks."_

_"It's okay, Tina," Sam said. "Everyone will be back for Christmas, and we're all going to keep in touch."_

_"Though some of us will see each other more…" Finn said, throwing a glance at Quinn._

_"What does that mean?" Mercedes asked._

_"Quinn bought Rachel a pass to New Haven."_

_"What?"_

_"That's awesome."_

_"Where's my ticket?"_

_"Buy your own, trust fund baby," Quinn muttered. She glanced at Rachel, who smiled and shrugged._

* * *

"I just…I don't know. I was annoyed that it was big news," Quinn said.

"Was it supposed to be a secret?" Rachel whispered conspiratorially.

Quinn laughed. "No… I just didn't want it to be a big deal. I wanted it to be for us…something to make the transition easier. Not a one-up contest for who's staying in touch with whom."

"Totally get it. That's why I didn't tell Finn."

"How'd he know, then?" Quinn asked, completely caught off guard.

"He came over while I was packing and he saw it sticking out of my backpack. He was kind of upset."

"Why?"

"He thinks it's a set up. Can't believe we're really friends," Rachel said, giving Quinn a sad smile. "And he doesn't really trust me to make good decisions without him around."

"In honor of our newfound friendship, I'm going to keep the armada of sarcastic comments I just thought of to myself."

Rachel laughed. "Don't worry. We'll think of another way to bond while we're at school."

* * *

Two weeks later, as Quinn was packing her last suitcase into her mom's SUV, Rachel pulled up in front of their house. She hopped out, waved to Judy, and ran to hug Quinn.

"I'm going to miss you so much!"

"I know. But that's what your Pass is for. Wait a few weeks, and then if either of us is losing our heads, we'll plan a visit."

Rachel nodded and held out a small box. "For you. But you can't open it until you get to New Haven."

"Quinn, time to hit the road!" Judy called.

"Alright. What is it?" she asked Rachel, shaking the box a little.

"If I told you, it would take away all the suspense." Rachel hugged her one last time. "I'll miss you," she whispered.

It took Judy putting the present in a suitcase for Quinn to resist opening it. She made herself wait until she'd unpacked all of her things before she took the box out. Sitting on her bed, she unwrapped it quickly, and found herself staring down at a notebook. It was black and white, with a floral design on the cover. On the first page was a message from Rachel.

_Quinn,_

_Here's something just for us. Once a week, we each write a letter in this notebook, and we send it to each other. I've looked up shipping—it won't cost that much. I think it'll keep us sane in between visits. I miss you already._

_Love, Rachel._


	51. Mustard

**200- Mustard (Faberry)  
**

"Whoa, whoa!" Quinn said, holding up a hand.

"What?" Rachel asked. She froze, bottle of French's Original Mustard in hand.

"Santana and I are big girls now—we can add our own condiments."

"Of course. How silly of me. One of you might have had an allergy."

"Or a semi-psychotic aversion to the yellow menace in your hand," Quinn said, smiling.

"And, just like that, it's Story Time with Quinn!" Rachel announced, laughing. "Why don't you like mustard, awesome blond girlfriend of mine?"

"I've been to enough therapy sessions to work through my daddy issues, however this is one thing I'm laying firmly at his feet. He loved mustard, and the rest of us hated it with the passion of a thousand burning suns. My sister and I weren't picky eaters in the slightest, but whenever we were in trouble and he was too tired to dish out spankings, he'd make us eat three tablespoons of mustard. No water afterward."

Rachel gagged visibly. "That's awful!"

"And thus is the basis of my mustard hate."

Rachel looked down at the bottle and glared at it.

"It's not the mustard's fault," Quinn said, amused. "Come on, the show is about to start."


	52. Jump

**200- Jump (trigger warning suicide attempt)  
**

"Don't," a voice said.

The boy turned his head. "Get away."

"I won't come any closer. But I'm not leaving. You don't have to do this."

"Shut up!"

"You're brave. You're so much braver than you know. You go through bullshit every day, head held high. And no one knows the kind of pain you're feeling. I get it."

"No you don't," the boy whispered.

"I may not know details, but I know that hopelessness. I know that this is just you being brave one more time—you're trying to take control. What's your name?"

"Adam."

"Adam? Adam what?"

The boy snorted. "Adam Force. But my dad would disagree; he claims he has no son."

"My name's Sebastian. I know what you're going through."

"How could you? You're wearing a three piece suit…you pulled over in a fucking Lexus. I've been living in a closet of my school for three months."

"I know because my husband went through the same thing."

Adam looked at him fully now.

"He's a sports reporter now. He'd love to meet you."

Adam looked back toward the water.

"You won't have to be alone anymore. Just don't jump."

Adam looked back, and took Sebastian's hand.


	53. Gears

**200- Gears**

Quinn stared, entranced, as her girlfriend fixed her car. She knew Santana had a thing for cars, sure, but she hadn't known the girl actually knew them in practice as well as in theory. And, quite frankly, watching Santana mess around with gears and tools and get all oily was the hottest thing Quinn had ever witnessed.

"You know, it's hard to concentrate with you thinking all loud over there," Santana said from under the hood.

Quinn couldn't see her face, but she knew the younger girl was smiling. "Uh huh…" she muttered, not blinking.

Santana stood up and smirked over at her. "Are we going to have to play Tough Mechanic and Bratty Schoolgirl after I get your bitchmobile fixed?"

"Uh huh…"

She laughed and put some of the tools back. "You know, if I had known it was this easy to get you going, I would've done this years ago. I used to push my car into the freshmen lot to fix it whenever it would act up. I figured Cheerio and car junkie didn't really go together."

Quinn was silent.

"Of for fuck's sake! You're picturing me doing this in my old uniform, aren't you?"

"Uh huh…."


	54. Critic

**200- Critic**

Santana was the first to admit that she was ultra protective of Brittany. Not in a bad way—she just wanted her favorite blond to feel safe and happy at all possible moments in life. One thing she was always on top of, was keeping Brittany away from critics' reviews. She knew her wife got professional feedback from her peers and her mentors, and that was quite enough as far as she was concerned. Most of the reviews were good—people recognized Brittany's talent. But theater critics were a notoriously brutal bunch, and Santana didn't want to see Brittany-tears just because some snob had his panties in a twist. So she screened the magazines before giving them to the blond.

When she got home that Thursday, she knew she'd missed one.

"Britt?" she asked, dropping her things and running over to the couch. She pulled her wife into her arms. "What is it? Give me that…."

"They said I looked like a cat with its head stuck in a jar and its tail on fire!" she sniffled. "I want a bestie night. Call Rach and Q."

Santana nodded and kissed her. At least she wouldn't have to buy another duck.


	55. Cook

**200- Cook**

"How were the kids today?" Rachel asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Squirrely, as usual," Quinn said. "But you don't have to make small talk, bestie. I know there's something on your mind. Out with it."

Rachel smiled. Quinn really was a mind reader at times. "I have…an adult question for you."

Quinn's eyes snapped shut. "I'm having post-traumatic stress…. The last time you said that, Finn had proposed."

"No, no," Rachel said, laughing. "Nothing bad…I just… I wanted your opinion on something."

"Right, sorry. Go ahead."

"…what was your reaction the first time Santana said she'd cook for you?"

Quinn blinked at her.

"Really."

"Um…shock? Gratitude? I'd had a rough day, and she told me to put my feet up, and that she'd take care of dinner. She made German food, randomly enough."

"You weren't…worried at all?"

"No, I knew she could…. Wait. Is Brittany cooking tonight?"

"I don't want to hurt her feelings, but what if it's…scary."

Quinn bit her lip, trying not to laugh. "What did she say she was making?"

"She said it's a surprise. I'm scared, Quinn."

"I'm sure this will be one of those times where B surprises you. In a good way."


	56. Leaf

**200- Leaf**

Fall in Lima was infinitely better than fall in L.A., in Finn's opinion. He'd never gotten used to the city—here he was comfortable. He finished raking the leaves into a neat pile and propped the rake up on the porch. Wandering back inside, he looked around for his family. "Sugar?" he called, walking toward their room.

She was in the bathroom putting makeup on. "Hop in the shower, baby. Everyone's going to be here in about an hour."

"Is Princess ready?" he asked.

"Yep! She's dressed, had a snack, and now she's playing until everyone arrives."

Finn nodded and got into the shower.

A while later, he went back downstairs to find his wife cooking. "Can I help?"

"If you take care of the carrots, I can finish the rolls."

"Where's Princess?" he asked.

"Playing in her room, I thought."

"No, I just checked." He didn't panic. He suspected his daughter was part ninja. She moved from room to room very quietly.

"Oh, she's outside!" Sugar said, pointing to the yard.

Finn went over to the front window.

His neat pile of leaves was now all over the yard again. He laughed and went back to help with dinner.


	57. Family

**200- Family**

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Lopez," the teacher said.

Santana smiled and shook his hand. "Is everything okay? We usually don't get parent-teacher conference requests for Cris."

Cris's teacher chuckled. "Everything's fine. I wanted to talk to you about the project Cris turned in on Monday."

"The family one? Yeah, I'm dying to see it. He usually lets us help him with his homework, but he was really…quiet about it this time."

"It was a great project. We want to feature it in the academic talent exhibit."

He passed the posterboard to her. In the middle was their Christmas/Hannukah photo—Rachel, Quinn and her dressed in Santa outfits, and the kids dressed as elves. Around that picture were pictures of their "extended family"—grandparents, godfathers and godmothers, etc. Santana smiled and flipped the board over to read Cris's essay.

_**My family doesn't look like other families. I have three moms, and lots of aunts and uncles. This makes some people mad, but that's okay. My family is awesome. The best thing about my family is that there is always someone to talk to. Something special about us is that we are all singers! **_

Santana smiled and nodded. "I'm sure he'd love that."

* * *

_**LbN: Taking requests!**_


	58. Fort

**200- Fort**

"So, what are we doing tonight?" Tina asked.

"In honor of your first night here, I figured we'd do something where it's just the two of us," Mike said, smiling. "No interruptions, and very small chance of anything going wrong."

"Sounds awesome."

"I enlisted the help of my roommate," Mike told her. "He should be done setting up by the time we get back; then he's heading home for the weekend."

They finished dinner, and took their time strolling back to the dorms. When they got there, they saw Mike's roommate Joffrey loading bags into his car.

"Hey man!" he called, waving. "Have a good weekend. Everything's in the room."

"Thanks dude!" Mike said.

"Now I'm super curious," Tina said, laughing. "What have you got cooking, Michael Chang Jr.?"

"You'll see."

They made it to his room, and he held the door open for her. Her mouth dropped open, and she started to laugh.

"Best idea ever," she said, hugging him.

Pillows, blankets, clothes pins, duck tape, and a few boxes were piled in the center of the room. Snacks and movies sat next to the TV.

"I figure you're never too old to make a cuddle fort," Mike said.


	59. Spooning

**200- Spooning**

When Dave got home, he immediately dropped his bag and went upstairs. He'd worked late all week, and was dead on his feet. Yawning, he changed as quickly as he could, listening to Blaine sing "I Swear" in the shower. He brushed his teeth, and crashed into bed.

A few minutes later, he felt his boyfriend snuggle in behind him.

"Blaine?"

"No."

Dave sniggered. "I'm just saying…."

"No."

"I'm the bigger one though."

"Tough nuggets."

"It makes no sense."

"Makes perfect sense."

"Well, what if I want to be the big spoon?"

"Then you should've been facing my side of the bed instead of the window, shouldn't you?"

Dave could hear the smirk in Blaine's voice.

"Fair point…. Can we switch?"

"…No…."

"Why not?"

"I'm in cuddle mode now."

"When we wake up tomorrow, you need to call Santana and let her know that Rachel owes her twenty bucks."

"Huh?"

"They had a bet going as to which one of us was the big spoon, and which one was the little spoon."

Blaine chuckled into Dave's shoulder and held him a tiny bit more tightly. "Only those two…" he said.

"Gotta love our crazy friends," Dave agreed. "Night, my Warbler."


	60. Action Figures

**200- Action Figures**

"Use the Force, Harry!"

"Oh no! Hermione, look out behind you!"

"I am Piper, daughter of Aphrodite! You will not harm my friends!"

"Skywalker and Annabeth have Vader on the run—I'm going to help!"

Rachel watched Sam play with their kids, camcorder in hand. She had to stifle a giggle when Fred and George Weasley used Bludgers to knock Kronos out. This was definitely going on Facebook.

"Where's Ron?"

"Fighting Voldemort with Doctors Nine and Ten and Percy Jackson."

It went on like this for another ten minutes. The best thing about it was that it was a completely serious battle of the fandoms. And Sam was into it just as much as Kelsey and Jax. Finally, he called for a snack break, and Rachel sneaked back down the hall before she was spotted.

* * *

"Did we really have to put this on Facebook?" Sam asked, groaning.

"It was too good not to share," Rachel told him.

Artie: Parenting: You're doing it right.

Santana: Now I know what to get them for Christmas."

Quinn: Where was the Green Lantern?

Brittany: The fact that the battle was won by a Care Bear Stare is the best part of the video.


	61. Stakeout

**_LbN: For SagaChronicles, who requested a continuation of ch. 24. :)_  
**

* * *

**200- Stakeout (Quina; Puckleberry)**

"No rest for the wicked," Puck grumbled, scooting up on his belly. He took out his binoculars and focused on their newest mark. Touching the tablet on his right, he selected the red dot that was his girlfriend.

The camera came on, and she gave the "Okay" sign. He nodded and shut the tablet down. Quickly, he packed everything away and scooted back into the cover of the trees. He walked toward their car. In his experience, running was a sure fire way to get caught.

Tina had her computers out when he got there.

"Everything okay?" he mumbled, sliding into the driver's seat.

"So far. Got them in just fine. It's getting them out that's going to be the problem. Track their movements for me on your tablet."

"I'm on it."

For the next five minutes, there was nothing. Then a shot rang out. They watched as Rachel and Quinn moved down through the tower.

"Fuck!" Tina said. "These bastards have some damn good security."

"You can get them out, right?"

"Yeah…unlocking doors as we speak."

"Shit, one of them fell back."

"They're moving again, look."

Rachel and Quinn fell into the back seat.

"Drive!" Rachel ordered.

"Quinn…you're bleeding."


	62. Baking Cookies

**200- Baking Cookies**

"We're doing what?"

"Baking cookies."

"That's what I thought you said. Why are we baking?" Quinn said, laughing.

Rachel pouted. "It's my turn to plan date night, so this is what we're doing."

"Honey…do you remember what happened the last time we attempted to cook something together? You nearly went insane trying to help me not kill myself with a whisk, and I almost blew up our stove."

"This is different. We're only baking cookies. It's foolproof."

"Should I go ahead and say a prayer for both of us, just in case?"

"…that might be advisable…."

* * *

"What does tsp mean?"

"Huh?"

"TSP."

"T-s-p? It stands for teaspoon, honey."

"Oh…"

* * *

"No, Quinn, you have to mix it until all the lumps are out."

"My hand hurts though."

"Switch with me then."

* * *

"Er…why are you banging the tray?"

"Wanky."

"No more hanging out with Santana for you. Seriously, though…."

"Flattens the cookies out. Makes them more chewy."

* * *

"We're taking you to see someone about your frosting addiction."

"It's the only part of the process I'm good at! Let me have my moment."

They stared down at their Ninja-bread men and zombie sugar cookies, smiling at their accomplishment.


	63. Silly Pictures

**200- Silly pictures**

Rachel tried to organize her room a bit while Santana was in the shower. Spending the weekend with her girlfriend was fantastic, but it also meant that they both decided to be lazy and, thus, stuff was everywhere. She spotted something. "I hate being short," she mumbled, reaching toward the slip of paper between the desk and the wall. It was a picture sheet—one of the bookmark-sized kinds you could get at the mall. But it was with her and Finn, not her and Santana.

In the past, the picture would've made her smile. Fond memories of a day out together, or some other bullshit. But now she saw little things in the picture…. Like the half annoyed-half amused expression on his face. He hadn't even wanted go with her. It was all these little things that she'd finally seen, plus a few big things, that had made her realize that they weren't working.

She smiled, feeling Santana come up behind her. "Found this on the floor by the wall," she explained, tossing it in the trash."

"We can go do that, if you want," her girlfriend said. "Take some silly pictures."

"Sounds like a good day to me."

_**LbN: Still taking requests! Any pairing and/or prompt. :)**_


	64. Cuddle

**_LbN: For SeddieShortBus, who requested Sebklaintofsky snuggles on a sick day. :)_  
**

**200- Cuddle**

"Sebastian," Kurt whined. "Move!"

"No," the younger man said, sticking his tongue out at Kurt. "You can snuggle in behind me or Dave."

"But I want to cuddle Blaine!"

"Nope. Snooze you lose."

"Dave!"

"Sorry, Kurt," Dave mumbled, obviously trying not to grin. "We're the fearsome foursome now. He gets to cuddle Blaine as much as he wants. As do I. So you've got to be quicker, Mighty Mouse."

"Anyone else notice how Santana gave us all cartoon mouse names? Fival, Mighty Mouse, Blaine's Mickey, and you're Ratigan."

"Guys," Kurt whined again.

"Kurt," Blaine said, opening one eye. His voice was deeper, and scratchy. "I know you're used to being my sick-bear, but you have to let Sebastian and Dave have a chance too."

Kurt pouted, but nodded. "I'm only relenting because you're infirmed."

"We know," the other three said.

Kurt smiled and cuddled next to Sebastian.

"I'm going to have to borrow Rachel's Cuddle Calendar soon, aren't I?" Blaine asked through a yawn.

"Probably," Dave agreed.

"If she, Santana, Quinn and Tina can make it work, then we definitely can," Kurt said.

"What the hell is it about Lima kids and ending up in foursomes?"

"Not one freaking clue."


	65. Vacation

**200- Vacation**

It happened every year. Around the time Rachel's show completed (a new one this year, called _A Kind of Delirium_), Santana would take a few weeks off and they'd go on vacation together. It was always fun once they got there…. The trouble happened before they left.

"Santana, it's tradition!"

"No, it's not. It's the fact that you pout every year, and I give in because I hate seeing you cry."

"Are you calling me manipulative?"

"You're words, not mine."

"…"

"Look, Ray Bear… I just want to change things up. Oktoberfest is fantastic!"

"You just want to drink and stare at the German girls' boobs, you uncultured cretin…."

"HA! I love you, Rachel, but you wouldn't know culture if it fucked you in the ass while singing Defying Gravity—"

"SANTANA! THAT IS CRUDE!"

"Just sayin' babe…for a famous Broadway star…you're in a rut. There's more to life and culture than musical theater."

"Just for that, you're on the couch tonight."

* * *

When Rachel woke up the next morning, she found a note on her nightstand. It said "Compromise." Underneath it were two sets of tickets—one to Germany for a week, and one to London for a week.


	66. Cleaning

**200- Cleaning**

"Sam! Where are you?" Finn called. "Come on! People will be here in two hours."

"I'm coming!"

Finn huffed. That meant he'd see his boyfriend in another ten minutes—at the soonest. He grumbled to himself as he swept the floor. This was normal…he always ended up doing all the cleaning. Especially last minute cleaning before a party. He'd already cleaned the kitchen and the game room without the blonde's help. In fact, Sam had curiously absent all day. Putting the broom in the closet, he wandered into the living room—ready to give him the drill sergeant act if he found the blonde playing video games.

He stopped short as he entered.

Sam was not playing video games, or watching TV. He was shuffling around in Green Lantern pajama pants, dusting, picking up random magazines and sorting the remote controls. He was also wearing bright, neon orange rubber gloves. It was quite the sight.

"What's up, Finn?" he asked. "Do you need help with the food?"

Finn shook his head, smiling. "You're a cute germaphobe. You make those scary clown gloves look good."

"Shut it, you…." Sam mumbled, smiling. "And go open the door. Kurt's here with the cake."


	67. Mac & Cheese

**200- Mac & Cheese**

Quinn closed the door behind her and let out a deep breath. She'd gotten the conviction to stick, but it had been the longest day—no, scratch that, the longest month—of her life. She dropped her briefcase and kicked off her shoes. "Rachel?"

"In the kitchen!"

She smiled and wandered through their spacious flat. "Hey baby," she said, walking into the kitchen. "We got it!"

"That's great, Quinn!" Rachel said, hugging her quickly. She went back to stirring something on the stove.

"What's—oh my god! Where did you find this?" Quinn yelped, spotting the boxes on the counter.

"At the store," Rachel told her. She looked over and smirked. "You okay, Q?"

"I haven't had this in forever!"

"We had it at Thanksgiving. Santana's mom made it. Remember, it nearly killed your mom, because she made it spicy."

"That was adult macaroni. This is fucking Kraft in Disney princess shapes!"

Rachel chuckled at her wife's elation. "Yes, yes it is. I knew you'd be tired after your case, and I was tired after closing the show…. So I thought we'd have a mac and cheese and cartoons night together to celebrate.

"Has anyone ever told you you're perfect?"


	68. DVR

**200- DVR**

Santana walked up behind the couch and put her arms around Brittany. "Hi babe," she whispered, nuzzling into her girlfriend's neck.

"Hey, San. Good day teaching people to punch?"

Santana laughed. "The best. But I'm super tired, and I don't feel like cooking. Want to go out to Macaroni Grill?" The place was almost, almost, as good as Breadstix, and Santana wanted a bottomless Cesar salad like none other.

"It's Lost Girl night."

The older girl groaned. "But Britts…. You tape all of them on the DVR anyway! Like seriously, there's never room for WWE. You can watch it when you get back."

The blonde shook her head and kissed Santana's cheek. "I've got to live blog my response on Tumblr. The fandom needs me."

Santana sighed.

"I'll take you tomorrow," Brittany promised.

"Then what are we doing for dinner?"

"I already ordered from your favorite Chinese place. It'll be here in fifteen minutes. Now come snuggle with me while we watch Bo sex everyone up."

Santana smiled and hopped over the back of the couch.

"And just so you know," Brittany said. "We would have plenty of room for WWE, if you didn't also tape every episode of Wipeout."

_**LbN: Still taking requests! Leave a review :)**_


	69. Wipeout

**200- Wipeout**

"Hurry, Quinn!" Rachel called, settling down on the couch. "It's starting."

"I'm coming." Quinn passed the bowl of chips to her and set bottles of water on the coffee table. "This is going to be the greatest thing ever," she mumbled as Wipeout came on.

"I still can't believe they did this…."

"Shh, it's starting."

The host from Wipeout came on dressed like an overgrown, extremely hairy cupid. It was disconcerting, but the girls didn't really care. Their smiles grew as he began to introduce the contestants.

"Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Today's Wipeout is a special love episode! That means our contestants are all couples, and will have to do couples' challenges if they want to make it to the prize. Let's meet our first couple—Brittana!"

The camera panned to the top of a large, chocolate covered slide where Brittany and Santana stood with another host.

"So ladies, you've been together since high school?"

"Yep!" Santana said proudly. "Seven awesome years."

"That's great! You ready to take on the course today?"

"More than ready," Brittany said.

"Alright, let's get to it!"

Rachel's phone rang. "Tell me you're watching it."

"Hell yeah," Blaine said.

"This is going to be great."


	70. Punch

**200- Punch**

The first time Santana punched someone was in the fourth grade. They'd been on the playground at recess. Finally it was their turn for the swings. Then, stupid Billy Donnelly came and shoved Brittany off of hers. She landed on her hands and knees, and started to cry. Santana jumped off her swing and threw a solid left hook.

The second time, they'd been in middle school. Someone had grabbed Brittany's boobs. He had two black eyes and a broken nose when the teachers had finally pulled Santana off of him.

By high school, most people knew better than to mess with Brittany. Still, senior year, Finn had been having a bad day (understandable since Rachel had just left him for Quinn) and called Brittany a walking blonde joke. To this day, Santana insisted that Quinn had saved the lumberjack's life.

Brittany got her turn to be the protector their second year at college. The four of them had gone out, and Santana had been acting odd after a guy bought her a drink. When she saw him try to pull her girlfriend into a bathroom, she lost it.

Quinn said it was the most perfect punch she'd ever seen.


	71. Landlord

**200- Landlord**

They had ten blankets piled on top of them, plus they were snuggled up against each other with Hello Kitty and rocket footie pajamas on, but Rachel was still shivering.

"Fuck th-this," Santana rolled out from under the covers and wrapped them tightly around the smaller girl.

"Wh-where are you g-going?" Rachel asked.

"I fucking refuse to turn into popsicles. I'm going to talk to the landlord."

"Hurry back," Rachel said.

"I will. Promise," Santana said, kissing her forehead.

* * *

It took five minutes of pounding on the old man's door, but finally Mr. Piezeki opened the door.

"You got any idea what time it is?" he snapped.

"Yeah, I do. It's three in the fucking morning and we're freezing!"

"Too damn bad. I bet next time you'll pay the rent increase."

Santana quirked an eyebrow. "What increase? Our statement was the same as always, and I fucking paid on time!"

"It was in the mailboxes."

"The ones that get broken into all the time? Because we didn't see it. You'd better turn our heat back on—now!"

* * *

"How'd it go?" Rachel asked.

The sound of the heater filled the room as Santana slipped back into bed.

"Went great."


	72. Dance

**200- Dance**

Rachel pushed Quinn's wheelchair into her room, giggling at the story her girlfriend of two weeks was telling her.

"I never thought I'd say this, but Sam's Sherlockian knowledge of nerd culture saved our lives."

"Quinn, I don't know if it saved you life," Rachel said.

"It did. That quiz master looked murderous. I don't want to know what could have happened to us had Sam not known the name of the original Green Ranger."

Rachel shook her head. "…Are you tired from therapy today?"

"Nope," Quinn said, shaking her head. "I'm feeling a lot more comfortable with my exercises, and I'm not getting tired as fast."

"Excellent." She walked over to Quinn's iPod dock and flipped through the songs. She settled on Truly, Madly, Deeply, and walked back to Quinn. "Remember the other day, when you said you missed dancing with me?" She held out her hands.

Quinn beamed at her.

Rachel helped her out of the wheelchair and held her close. "I'll help you. Just tell me when you want to stop."

"I don't think I'm going to want to stop," Quinn mumbled.

"When you need to stop."

The blonde nodded. "Thank you for sticking with me, Rachel."


	73. Blankets

**200- Blankets**

Mercedes woke up, shivering. She grumbled and sat up in bed. Huffing, she wandered to the bathroom for a drink. When she got back, her boyfriend was in the same position she'd left him in. It was annoying. This happened every freaking time she stayed over. They had a system, basically. She and Sam would go to sleep, cuddling sweetly. Around two in the morning, she'd wake up for a drink, and she'd be freezing.

Because Sam was a damn dirty blanket stealer. Asshole.

Mercedes tried to pull the corner of the blanket away, but Sam held on like he was a toddler, and she was stealing his favorite Cars blankie. Time to try tactic number two…. She tickled his arm gently.

He squirmed, somehow pulling the comforter even tighter around himself.

"For fuck's sake…."

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

She knelt by the side of the bed and picked up the bright red wiffle bat. With a few practice swings, she moved to the other side of the bed. She gave him three good taps to the gut.

Sam woke up and promptly rolled out of bed in shock.

Mercedes crawled back to her side and snuggled down.


	74. Consequences

**200- Consequences**

"FINN HUDSON!"

Finn came dashing into the bedroom, looking petrified. "What's up?"

"I just cleaned yesterday. Why does it look like a fucking tornado hit?" Quinn asked through gritted teeth.

"Er…."

"'Er' is not an answer. Please explain why our room looks like a disaster area."

"Well, I went to paintball today with the guys, and I couldn't find my lucky shorts. They were at the bottom of the hamper. I was late and didn't have time to clean up."

"And the crumb laden paper towel on our bed?"

"I had a sandwich while I was dressing."

"I see."

"Sorry

"We've had this discussion before."

"Er…yeah."

"Right… next time I'm traumatized by the state of our bedroom, there will be consequences."

Finn flinched.

* * *

"I've got to run," Finn said. "I left the house a wreck, and my wife has had it up to here with me already."

"Understand that, guy," his coworker said. "See you next week."

As Finn collected his things to go, he felt his phone buzz.

_Consequences: Rachel is here with her Bedazzler. I'm interested to see how much of your stuff she can get to before you get home._

Finn raced out of the office.


	75. Anniversary

**200- Anniversary**

Santana smiled up at the stage, watching Rachel take her final bow. She waited until the crowd had cleared out before standing and making her way to the stage.

Five minutes later, Rachel came back out. "Baby!" she said, rushing over. "Did you like the show?"

"Loved it, as always." She kissed her.

"Thanks. What's up? Stephen said you were still out here."

"Wanted to take the stage for this. It's where we're both most comfortable, right?"

"And what is 'this' exactly?"

Santana smiled and took both of her hands. "You remember what today is?"

"Our fifth anniversary," Rachel said, beaming. "Five years since you asked…no, sorry…demanded that I go on a date with you."

"Exactly. Do you remember what I told you?"

"That if I took a chance and went to dinner with you, you'd make sure I felt like a princess from that moment on."

"Have I lived up to that promise?" Santana asked seriously.

"Definitely. With the exception of the peanut butter incident."

"You need a twelve step program. But that's not the point…."

"What is the point?"

Santana knelt down and took out a ring box. "Let me live up to that promise forever. Marry me?"

_**LbN: New poll is up! :)**_


	76. Dinner

**200- Dinner**

Quinn walked in and dropped her briefcase. Her stomach grumbled violently when she smelled food cooking. "God bless my girlfriend," she mumbled. Kicking her shoes off, she wandered into the kitchen. "Hey baby!"

"Hi Quinn!" Brittany chirped. "How was court?"

"Fabulous," Quinn said, kissing her and stealing a breadstick.

"Quinn! Dinner's almost ready."

"I know. But your breadsticks are irresistible."

"You sound like Santana."

"I would've taken the whole basket if I was Santana."

"Speaking of which, she and Rachel are coming over Friday for dinner. I have a bet to win."

"Oh dear lord…. Do I even want to know?"

"I was on Skype with S earlier and we got into a…."

"A Santana/Britt fight? So, not a fight, but as close as you two get?"

"Yeah, that. She doesn't believe I'm the cook in the family."

Quinn laughed. "Why not?"

"Because you're a control freak and I'm easily distracted. Not her exact words, but that was the gist."

Quinn smiled and rolled her eyes. "So are you pulling out the big guns?"

"Let's just say, the judges on Chopped would be impressed with what I'm planning."

"Uh oh!" Quinn said. "Well, I can't wait to celebrate your victory."


	77. Fight

**200- Fight**

"How long do you think they'll be at this?" Rachel asked, flipping through a magazine.

"Well…they're still shouting," Brittany said. "Longer than ten minutes is a bad sign. But, I haven't heard anything breaking yet—"

There was a deafening crash at that moment, followed by more shouting.

"Let's go break it up," Rachel said tiredly.

"I'll stay in our room with Santana. You stay with Quinn."

"Game on."

They walked upstairs, cringing as Santana and Quinn's voices got louder. They made it to the bedroom just as threats of breakups started to fly.

"Enough," Brittany said.

There was absolute silence. The blonde hadn't raised her voice, but still…everything went still.

"I'm tired of this. Once every two months, like fucking clockwork…this bullshit starts. Quinn, Santana, you two really do need to take a break. Even if it does kill me and Rachel. So you go stay with her, Quinn, and I'll stay here with Santana. After today, we're getting another apartment."

"Britt—"

"B—"

"No," she said. "If we have to go back to being separate couples for a while—if that's what it takes…." She looked at Rachel for support.

"Come on, Quinn. Let's go to bed."


	78. Separation

**200- Separation Anxiety**

Mercedes had NOT planned on this going down.

"No."

"Stop it."

"No."

"For the love of—"

"NO."

"Sam, it's one week!" Mercedes said, laughing. "I'll be back next Monday."

"No."

"Sweet blessed Jesus. Quinn! A little help here?"

The blonde just stood to the side smiling and sipping her overpriced airport coffee. "Should've done like I said and eased him into this, buddy."

"I didn't know he'd take it like this!" Mercedes exclaimed.

Santana came to the rescue. "Come on, Guppy Lips, you can let go now. Cedes is going to have a badass time in Vegas with her homegirls, and you're going to party with the boys. Doesn't that sound awesome."

"No. Don't leave, Mercedes," he whined. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Sammy. Now, we're going to miss our plane if you don't stop hugging me."

"Man up, dude!" Puck hollered from the truck. "Let Hot Chocolate go get her party on…we've got man stuff to do!"

Sam stood back, pouting. "Have fun."

"I will. You too, okay babe?"

"I'll try. Go on, you've got a plane to catch."

Mercedes gave him a peck on the lips and followed Santana and Quinn into the airport.


	79. Nicknames

**200- Nicknames**

"Santana?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Can we talk about something?"

Santana's mind went into Sherlock Mode. She hadn't done anything wrong, unless it was something she hadn't realized during the first six months of dating Rachel. They weren't breaking up, because they'd already discussed being in this for the long haul. It probably wasn't bad, but Rachel did look hesitant. Well, there was only one way to find out….

"Sure," she said, giving Rachel a kiss on the cheek. "What's up?"

"It's been six months…we've both discussed being committed. I think it's time for a special step in our relationship."

She couldn't mean sex, because they'd talked about that too, and were waiting another three months. But there wasn't anything else she could think of, barring engagement rings.

"What…what step is that?"

"Pet names."

"Oh!" Right. "Er…well, I call you 'babe'. That counts, right?"

"Kind of…but they should be personalized. Finn called me 'babe' too."

Argument won. "What do you want me to call you?"

"You have to come up with it yourself."

"…Pumpkin?"

"…"

"Schnookums?"

"Seriously?"

"Honey comb? Sugar lips? Scooby Snack?"

"Scooby snack?"

"Give me a hint! Sweetie pie?"

"…"

"How about…Rae bear?"

"…I approve… Sanni bug."

"…only in private…"


	80. Paying

**200- Paying (For anon who requested a Kurtbastian chapter)  
**

"So the line is launching next month, right?" Sebastian asked.

"Yep! I can't believe we're actually on time. It was looking quite intense there for a while."

"I'm proud of you," Sebastian said. "I know how hard you worked on this. And how crazy things were last year."

"Thanks," Kurt said. "I'm so excited about it."

The waiter came back then. "Can I clear anything for you, gentlemen?"

"Sure, thanks."

"Thank you," Sebastian said, nodding.

"Dessert tonight?"

"No thanks," Kurt said.

"I'm fine. Could we get the check, please?" Sebastian asked.

"Of course."

"So…have you talked to him in a while?"

"Yesterday. He's back in Ohio, but he's travelling. We don't have to talk about Blaine, Sebastian."

"You can talk to me about him. It's okay. I know last year was hard."

"But I had you to get through it."

"Your check, sirs," the waiter said, dropping it in between their wine glasses.

"Thanks," Sebastian said, taking out his wallet.

"You paid last time, Seb."

"And I'm paying this time too," Sebastian told him with a wink.

"Come on…."

"Nope." He handed his card to the waiter. "I like spoiling you, Kurt. Just something you'll have to get used to."


	81. Assassins' Vacation

**200- Vacation**

"I'm supposed to be on vacation!" Puck growled into his communicator as he took out another assassin. "You know…fun, relaxation, leisure? Any of those mean anything to you, Eoghen?"

"Sorry about this, Agent Prince," their boss said. "We didn't know you were being tracked."

"May I remind you that Agent Romeo and I are supposed to be on our HONEYMOON?"

"I said sorry. And it's a bit weird that you're on your honeymoon with Agents Quebec and Tango."

Puck dispatched the last shooter and ran upstairs. "Ra—what the hell?"

"Glad you didn't go outside," Tina said, scanning the box Rachel had gingerly placed on the floor. "The house was rigged. Q needs to shut this down before we can leave."

"Or before the assholes can set it off remotely."

"No mistakes, spies," their boss said through their communicators.

"Shut it, Eoghen!" all four said.

"Wired against tampering," Quinn muttered. "Back up detonator. Three primary wires…."

It only took the blonde five minutes before she had it disarmed.

"Puck, there are three guys in the back," Rachel said.

"I got them. Think they messed with our car?"

"I'm sure they did. So we'll just take one of theirs," Tina said.


	82. Movie

**200- Movie**

It was lucky that Quinn was on her fourth cup of coffee that morning. She had enough caffeine coursing through her to be relatively okay with the fact that her wife came at her like a bulldozer.

"Morning, Q-bie!" Rachel chirped, hugging her.

"Morning, Ray. What's got you in such a chipper mood at…six a.m.?"

"You were already asleep when I got home, so I couldn't do this then. I'm up for a movie."

"No way! That's amazing," Quinn said, kissing her. "What is it?"

"It's a new comedy. Written by…get this… Daniel Radcliffe."

"Harry Potter?"

"Yeah. It's about a team of archeologists who get trapped in this underground pyramid they're excavating. There are ghosts and mummies and stuff, and some sort of treasure mystery…. It's really funny though, and super clever. I'm up for the female lead."

"Awesome, baby. What's your character's name?"

"Ariel Denton. And I'm going red for it."

"Red?"

"Redhead."

"…."

"You're picturing it, aren't you?"

"…."

"Come back to me, Q-bie."

"Right. Good. Red. Jesus."

"And she's gay! I get a gay role for once."

"Whoa, wait…is there a love interest?"

"Yeah. She's dating the intern- Sarah Harper."

"Played by….?"

"Santana Lopez."

"Hell fucking no!"


	83. First Move

**200- First Move**

"Tanner, Tucker!" Rachel called. "Where are they?" she muttered. She wandered through the house. They weren't in their room, but the house alarm was on so they couldn't have gone outside. A light bulb went off in her head as she stood outside of their bathroom. "The attic."

Ever since the boys had found their road trip photo album, they'd taken to hanging out in the attic, going through the Berry-Fabray "pre-twins" photos. Rachel walked down the hall and spotted the open door to the attic stairs. "Boys?" she called, walking up the stairs.

"Hi Momma!" Tucker said.

"Hey Tuck, Tann. What are you guys looking at?"

"Your yearbook. You never told us why we can't dye our hair pink…."

"You're too young, and your school won't allow it. It's against dress code. What picture is that?"

"Prom."

_Oh god…. _

"Was Mommy crying?"

"Er…yeah. She and Uncle Finn had a fight that night." _And he tipped her out of her wheelchair…._

"Oh."

"They made up."

"Did you go to prom with Mommy?"

"Er…no. That was the night she asked me out though. In the bathroom, after I won prom queen."

"That's so romantic," Tanner said.

Tucker rolled his eyes.


	84. First Kiss

**200- First Kiss**

Quinn yawned and dropped her teaching bag and purse next to the door. She kicked off her shoes and walked into the kitchen for a drink. That was odd…the boys weren't in there begging Rachel for a pre-dinner snack. It was five o'clock. She knew they were home.

As she walked through the house, she heard laughter from the end of the hall. "Attic," she said, smiling. "What did I miss?" she asked when she reached the top of the stairs.

"Momma's telling us about the Halloween parties when you were in college," Tanner said.

"How much have you told them?" Quinn asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Not that much," Rachel said.

"EW!" both boys yelped.

Their moms hurried over, worried that they'd come across another Vegas picture. But it was just a picture of them kissing.

"Oh calm down," Rachel said, clearly relieved she wouldn't be explaining anything raunchy.

"That was our first kiss," Quinn said, looking down at the picture of them under the St. Louis arch.

"Did you kiss Mommy, or did Mommy kiss you?" Tucker asked Rachel.

"I kissed her," Rachel said smugly.

Quinn smiled and rolled her eyes. "I'm never going to live it down, either."


	85. Amusement Park

**200- Amusement Park**

"Santana, I'm not so sure about this," Rachel said nervously.

"Baby, don't worry," Santana mumbled into her shoulder. "You're going to love it."

"I just…I don't know if I'm ready."

"Do you trust me, baby?"

"Of course I do."

"You're going to be fine, I promise. It's going to be fun."

"I'm just…nervous."

"I know." Santana kissed her on her cheek and looked up at the American Twister Coaster sign. "But roller coasters rock. Your first coaster is a milestone, Rach. You'll be fine. And it's a cart coaster, so I'll be able to hold your hand the entire time."

Santana hoped the line started moving. Every second in line, Rachel got more and more nervous. She was sure her girlfriend was going to bolt to the teacups at any moment.

"Okay, I'll be fine," Rachel said, breathing deeply.

"Of course you will. I ride these all the time. Perfectly safe, and I'm with you."

"Let's do this."

Unfortunately, by the time they made it to the front of the line, Rachel was nowhere near as confident.

"I don't know if I'm tall enough to ride," she told the attendant.

"A seven year old just got on…." Santana mumbled.


	86. Birthday

**200- Birthday**

Tina paced back and forth across their room, starting to hyperventilate. She refreshed her computer again (for the fifth time in the past hour) and her stomach sank. A few tears slipped out, but she tried to stop herself from going into a full on high school break down.

"Tina?" Santana called. She came into the room a second later. "What's wrong?"

"Quinn's birthday present isn't in yet!" Tina wailed. "Tonight was supposed to be special, and I don't even have a present for her!"

"Hey…calm down. Tell me what happened."

"I ordered the stuff two weeks ago, and it says it delivered, but I didn't find anything."

"Wait…was it a box from Beautiful Designs?"

"…yeah…."

"Calm down, I've got it."

"Jesus," Tina sighed. "When did you get it?"

"They delivered it two days ago, but left it at the FedEx station. I saw the slip this afternoon before I left for the gym, and I stopped on the way home and grabbed it."

Tina pulled Santana into a hug. "Thank god…. I seriously thought someone swiped it."

"No worries. Take a deep breath and go wash your face. Then we can start cooking. We have a blonde to surprise."


	87. Neglect

**200- Neglect**

Rachel's hands shook as she sprinkled the sliced almonds on top of the green beans. She wondered if it was because of the raised voices in the bedroom or because she'd been neglecting her health recently. She took a breath and walked down the hall.

"I can't fucking believe you!" Santana yelled at Tina. "I thought you were pissed at me for something serious. You're seriously jealous of the girl who tried to force me out of the closet and then stomped my heart to pieces in high school?"

"I didn't say I was jealous of Brittany!"

"You fucking implied it!"

"Santana? Tina?"

Both girls turned at Rachel's quiet, shaky voice.

"I just…wanted to tell you that dinner's ready. If you guys are hungry…"

"Rach? Sit down, baby," Santana said, worried.

"Are you okay?" Tina asked.

"When was the last time you ate?" Santana asked.

"Cereal. This morning."

"No…you dumped it out. I remember wondering if you were feeling well."

"I've just…been stressed lately."

Santana and Tina glanced at each other.

"Come on," Santana said. "Dinner, then sleep."

Later, as they lay on either side of Rachel, Santana and Tina took each other's hands.

"I'm sorry," Santana whispered.

"Me too."


	88. Date

**200- Date**

Surprisingly, their first date went well. The drive home was quiet, but comfortable. They hummed along to the radio, and held hands. Finally, Santana pulled up in front of Rachel's house.

"I had a great time," Rachel said, smiling down at her lap.

"Look at me…."

Rachel looked up after a second.

"I did too," Santana said, smiling. "I'd love to do it again sometime."

Rachel beamed for a second, and then trained her face into a neutral expression. "Yeah… me too. Maybe next week?"

"Sounds good. But I think I should explain something."

Doubt flashed across Rachel's face. "What?"

"I'm. Not. Finn. You can hold me in the hallways. You can be excited to see me. You can expect me to spoil you and be happy when I do. There's no such thing as clingy with me, Rach. So whatever he put in your head that's got you thinking you have to be chill after a marvelous first date…forget it."

Rachel smiled brightly at this. "Consider it forgotten."

Santana smiled back and leaned in for a kiss.

Their lips had barely touched when the flood lights came on.

"That's close enough, ladies!" a loud voice said.

"Daddy!" Rachel screeched.


	89. Hurt

**200- Hurt (Pucktana; Faberry)  
**

"Puckerman Strength and Training—Puck speaking."

"Hello, Mr. Puckerman, this is Nurse Mannilow at Lima Mercy."

"Yes? Is everything okay?"

"Your daughter Beth was brought in earlier. She assures us that we don't want to deal with any of her mothers right now. Her words, not mine."

"I'm assuming she's okay if she's letting her smartass gene shine through like that…."

"She got into a fight today—"

"A fight? My kid?"

"—and apparently the boy threw her into—"

"A BOY? What the hell?"

"Principal Grayson is here to explain everything. If you could come over with her mothers…."

"Right. I'll be right there. Santana!" he hollered, hanging up. "We've got to go to the hospital!"

* * *

Beth cringed when she saw her Mommy, mother, father, Rachel and Santana heading toward her.

"What happened?" Shelby asked.

"We were arguing, he said my family was fucked up, I called him a jackass, and he tossed me down a short but painful flight of stairs," Beth said, hoping a quick answer would lessen their wrath.

The threats of beheadings that followed told her she'd been wrong.

"Where are the parents?" Quinn asked.

"Right here," a voice said from behind them.


	90. Bromance

**200- Bromance**

"Venti soy latte with a shot of caramel," Quinn said, handing Santana her drink.

"You're a saint."

"I know it."

"Hey, Q, can I ask you something?"

"Always. What's up?"

"Have you figured out our ladies' epic bromance?" Santana asked, seemingly bewildered.

Quinn snorted into her drink, then chuckled. "I haven't. I honestly have no idea what it is with those two."

"It's weird. Like, we make sense…but when you started dating Rachel it was like all bets were off. Britts suddenly had a new bestie."

"Aww, are you jelly, S?"

"Surprisingly, no," Santana admitted. "I think it's cool that she's besties with the hobbit."

"Santana…"

"Term of endearment, Q. Anyway, I was just wondering. Like seriously, what do they do all day?"

"I think they're skydiving today."

Santana let out a cackle, and then quieted when she saw Quinn's face. "You can't be serious."

"Rachel's wanted to do it since she was twelve. And B was all in once she suggested it."

"SHE TOOK MY GIRLFRIEND SKYDIVING?"

"I think so. Unless it was an elaborate joke. I didn't know until Brittany picked her up this morning. They had color coordinated jumpsuits, like on the Power Rangers movie."

Santana facepalmed.


	91. Radio

**200- Radio**

"Welcome back, I'm Howard Stern. Today on the show, we have the absolute honor of hosting the sexiest, most terrifying recording artist I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. We're pleased to welcome Santana Lopez!"

"Hey Howard!"

"Now…most of the audience has no idea why I'm terrified of you. Care to fill them in?"

Santana laughed. "You were doing interviews at the Grammys last year, and my wife was with me. If I remember correctly, you were perving on her a bit and I had to…correct you."

"True, very true. Let it be known that anyone who creeps Rachel Berry out will be forcibly corrected by Miss Lopez."

The rest of the crew laughed.

"Before we get to talking about your album, we thought we'd play some rapid fire trivia. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!"

"And since you two are the most disgustingly sweet super-couple out there, we thought we'd do a domesticity theme. So…ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Howard," Robin said. "I just got a tweet from a certain Broadway diva."

"Oh no shit! Is she listening?"

"Oh yeah. She said, 'Tell Santana to watch it, because I'm listening in my hotel room.' This should be good!"

"I'm totally fucked."


	92. Radio pt 2

**200- Radio 2**

"Right… the wife is listening. I'll try not to get you in too much trouble. Rules are, you have to answer with the first thing that comes to your mind."

"Ready."

"Who cooks normally?"

"Me."

"What do you fight over the most?"

"Which video games to play."

"Okay…. Who's the blanket stealer of the family?"

"She is."

"Just got a tweet," Robin said. "Rachel calls bullshit."

"What's her pet name for you?"

"She calls me Scooby."

"What's your pet name for her?"

"Rachel anticipated that question and said, 'Don't even think about telling him'," Robin laughed.

"Okay, what's the most you've ever had sex in a week?"

"She's going to kill me…eleven times."

"ELEVEN? Were you eating or sleeping?"

"It was our honeymoon! Plus we hadn't seen each other in two months…."

"Sexiest thing she wears?"

"Boxers, tank, wet hair."

"Most romantic date one of you has planned?"

"I took her to the aquarium and proposed in front of the turtle exhibit."

There was a chorus of "Awwww" from the crew.

"Be right back with more from Santana Lopez."

Santana checked her phone as they went to commercial.

_Thanks for not telling them about the dominatrix outfit. ;)- xo, R._


	93. Secret

_**LbN: Just moved into a new house, so interwebz are lacking until next month. Will have updates up as often as possible. Prompt is from Purrpickle :)**_

Quinn strolled down the hall with a smirk on her face. She walked up to Santana and leaned in. "I know a secret…."

Her friend's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Really?"

"Spill, bitch!"

"I have it on good authority," Quinn whispered. "That the captain of the Cheerios is dating Rachel Berry."

Santana blinked. "Wh—what?" she sputtered.

"Mmmmhmm. Exhibit A, when you dropped her off at the main enterance to the school before we headed to the gym, you said 'Bye Baby'. I believe you were about to say baby girl, but you checked yourself before you wrecked yourself. Exhibit B, she took your hand in glee two days ago, but dropped it when she saw me looking…. Exhibit C, I spotted you at Skylight Friday night while out with my dad. He's on a repentance kick again."

"Fuck."

"Not to worry. Your secret's safe with me. For a small price."

* * *

The next week, McKinley High was treated to the sight of Santana in a duck suit, serenading Brittany and giving her a love note from Quinn at the beginning of every class.

Rachel seemed to thoroughly enjoy it all.

"The things I do for you," Santana muttered during glee.


	94. Baking

**200- Baking**

Mercedes walked into her normally immaculate house and stopped. There was a trail of debris leading to the kitchen. "Lord have mercy…" she muttered. Half of her wanted to head straight to her room and get changed from her office clothes, but the other half had to know what her dudes had been up to. She stepped gingerly down the hall and peeked into the kitchen. "What in…?"

Flour, eggs, and god only knew what else covered the counters and about half of the floor. There were at least five mixing bowls piled in the sink. Every spoon was in the sink as well. Something pink was splattered across the wall in a line that led to the refrigerator. A cup held something that looked suspiciously like bacon drippings.

On the top of the microwave sat a dozen cookies on a pink plate.

"Bam Kaleb Jones-Evans!" she called.

The little boy peeked around the corner a minute later. "Hi Mommy!"

"I see you talked your dad into baking today."

He nodded, curly hair bouncing around his face.

"You guys used a whole bag of flour. You only made twelve cookies?"

"We ate the rest."

"Bam!" Sam called. "No squealing, buddy!"


	95. Inspiration

**200- Inspiration**

Kurt sat in the dark. He didn't move, or speak. Hell, he was trying not to think. Unfortunately that last one was impossible. He had a deadline for a new line idea set for next week and he had exactly jack in the way of sketches. Or ideas.

The lights came on.

"Dave! I'm ruminating!"

"Come ruminate in the sunlight with me," the sports agent said. "Some of the guys are playing a pickup game in the park. We need a kicker."

"Dave—"

"I know you have to work. Still…I think getting out of the house will do you good. You've been staring at these canvases for three days and they're still blank. Let's go. We'll get Thai food for lunch."

"…can we get cupcakes too?"

"Sure."

Kurt was glad he'd negotiated for cupcakes. He sucked. He'd been on his back more times that day than his entire sophomore year of college—which was saying something.

"Doing okay?" Dave asked as Kurt headed back into his studio.

"I'll be fine."

"Once that limp goes away."

"Shut it. At least I found some inspiration."

"Seriously? That's awesome."

"Yep. Time to go start on the Hummel Grass Stain sportswear line.


	96. Clueless

**200- Clueless; Prompt from Purrpickle  
**

Will looked around. "Where are the girls?" he asked.

"They all headed upstairs a while ago," Artie told him.

"Oh no…Santana's rooming with Rachel! I have to go split them up!" He stopped when he saw the looks on the boys' faces. "What?"

"I don't think that's exactly necessary, Mr. Schue," Sam said, trying not to laugh.

"It's awesome how much faith you have in your teammates, but I think I'll err on the side of caution."

* * *

"House call, Mr. Schue?" Santana asked, tightening her robe.

"Where's Rachel?"

"Taking a bath."

"I'm switching you and Tina."

"Hellz no. I'm not bunking with Quinn and Britt. I don't want to listen to that all night."

"To what?"

"Jesus, you're clueless. Why did you want to switch us?"

"Something about all the yelling earlier made me think I needed to," he said sarcastically.

"I was yelling at Finn."

"Rachel looked pretty scared."

"Because she's against violence, and she knew I was about to chop down the Ent."

"Santana…."

"Are you done? I need to get in the tub."

It wasn't until later that Will realized what Santana didn't want to listen to, and that her tub was the same as Rachel's….


	97. Vampire

**200- Vampire**

Santana tapped her fingers on the armrest. "I don't understand."

"Explained it to you already."

"Don't bullshit me, Quinn."

"Calm down, S," Quinn said gently. "We've got to get you out of populated areas."

"I haven't…you know…killed anyone."

"Right, you haven't. And we want to keep it that way. Leroy's the head of the coven. It's his call."

"You mean Rachel's call."

"She didn't pick this place."

"We're moving all the fuck out to goddamn Seattle…no, not even Seattle. Some podunk place called Forks. You're telling me this isn't her fault?"

"…the family is friends of theirs. Rachel's cool with the older two, Alice and Rose, but she fucking hates Bella. Anyway, this place is out of the way. We'll rule the school…as soon as we get your bloodlust under control, at least."

"Why's she hate Bella?"

"Bella's a tool."

"Met her?"

"Yeah. She's with the oldest guy—Edward. She's still human though, so she won't be around much."

Santana was quiet for a moment. "I'm hungry."

"Of course you are."

"Come on… haven't eaten since Illinois."

"Where you took down two bears and a few deer."

"Please."

Quinn sighed and pulled off at the next dirt road. "Let's go."


	98. Paintball

**200- Paintball**

Rachel ran through the trees, ducking as blue and green paint splattered around her. "Santana! Come in!"

"Back up's on the way, Tiny Dancer."

"I demand a new nickname!" Rachel yelled into her walkie-talkie, before jumping off a low hill. She landed with a grunt, and took shelter behind the nearest tree. She peeked around it and fired at the blonde who was just now cresting the hill.

Quinn ducked out of the way, yelling to Brittany.

Rachel fired a few more times, painting the nearest bit of landscape bright orange. She was about to run, realizing almost too late that Brittany was closing in on her from the other side.

That's when red paint began to splatter onto the ground from above. Santana ran across the platforms in the trees, shooting at the blondes below while Rachel ran for cover.

"Take that, blondies!" she yelled. She landed two solid shots to Quinn's back, and cackled when the blonde yelped.

"OW!" Rachel yelled. Looking down, she saw a blue and green spot on the front of her armor.

"Just me and you now, Britts," Santana called from above.

Brittany didn't respond. She just lowered her sunglasses and fired twice.

"Damn!"


	99. Spicy

**200- Spicy**

"How-?"

"Shhh!"

"I'm just saying—"

"Santana…"

"Come on!" the older girl yelled, laughing. "How did Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper have Cinnamon as a baby?"

"It's a kid show, Santana!"

"Was Pepper creeping while Salt was sleeping."

"Oh for…"

"Or maybe the spices headed over to party in the liquor cabinet one night…things got spicy with Pepper and Cumin, but he wasn't ready to be a father, so Salt stepped up and made an honest women out of Pepper. Now Cinnamon's coloration is just something the spice rack keeps mum about. Cumin comes around on Christmases, and Cinnamon has his suspicions, but they maintain a cordial distant relationship. Cumin's just a family friend as far as anyone will say. When Cumin gets high and drunk he contemplates telling Cinnamon the truth."

Rachel turned very slowly to Santana. "…what the actual fuck?"

"Just saying…."

"It's a KIDS' SHOW!"

"Yeah, and we're two college students, sitting in a shoebox New York apartment on a Friday night watching it. Point?"

"Damn it, Santana."

The older girl smirked. "You're thinking about it now aren't you?"

"Time for us to make a Blue's Clues soap opera," Rachel said, turning the TV on mute.


	100. Madness

**200- Madness**

"…no."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean hell no," Sam said, shaking his head furiously at Quinn. "We're friends and all, but deep down, I'm terrified of Rachel. I don't want her coming after me."

"What?"

"I will NOT be responsible for your descent into madness," he said, taking a dignified sip of his coffee."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Remember when we were in school? That brief, wonderful, horrifying period when we were roommates? Remember that time you helped me study for Multicultural Psych? You diagnosed yourself with every single thing in the book. Including shit you couldn't possibly have! Tell me how you figure you have racial identity issues common of biracial children, Quinn…."

"Okay, that was one time! And it wasn't that bad?"

"How do you have a nationalist inferiority complex brought on by internalized anti-immigrant rhetoric?"

"Okay!" Quinn groused. "I get it. Still…I need help. I want to play the part well."

Sam huffed. "Fine," he said after a moment. "I'll give you a brief rundown of a FEW symptoms, but I'm not going through the litany of mental illness with you. That can only lead to drama."

"You rock, Sam Evans," Quinn said.

_**LbN: And that's the end! I'll be extending some of these into proper fics. In a few weeks there will be a poll up on my profile that will let you vote on which ones. **_


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